New Dating Trends: How to Recognize Them and Avoid the Pitfalls
Are you tired of being “scrooged” or “ghosted” by your dates? Do you feel like you’re constantly running into new dating trends that leave you frustrated and bewildered?
You’re not alone. In today’s rapidly changing dating landscape, it can feel like the rules are constantly shifting.
But don’t worry, we’re here to help. In this article, we’ll explore some of the latest dating trends and give you tips on how to recognize them and avoid the pitfalls.
Scrooging: Dumping Before the Holidays
Ah, the holidays. A time of joy, celebration, and dumping?
That’s right, “scrooging” is the trend of breaking up with someone before a major holiday or event, leaving them feeling lonely and dejected. The term comes from Ebenezer Scrooge, the notoriously selfish character from Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” Scrooging can happen before Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, or even a birthday.
Why do people scrooge? Some may feel that the pressure of gift-giving or spending time with their partner’s family is too much to handle. Others may feel that they’re not ready for a serious relationship and want to avoid any future commitment. Whatever the reason, scrooging is an insensitive and hurtful act that can leave long-lasting emotional scars.
How to recognize it:
- Has your partner suddenly become distant or less interested in spending time with you?
- Are they making vague excuses for why they can’t attend holiday events or buy you a gift?
These may be red flags that scrooging is on the horizon.
How to avoid it:
Communication is key. Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about your expectations for the holiday season and what role they want to play in it. If they’re not ready for a serious commitment, it’s better to know sooner rather than later.
And if you do get scrooged, remember that it’s not a reflection of your worth as a person. You deserve someone who will cherish you, not someone who will disappear when the going gets tough.
Glamboozling: Stand Up and Ignorance
Have you ever been all dressed up and ready for a date, only to have your partner cancel at the last minute? That’s “glamboozling” – the act of standing someone up while they’re still in the process of getting ready.
The term was coined by writer and comedian Sarah Solomon, who described the feeling of being “boozled” while glammed up. Glamboozling can happen for a variety of reasons. Your partner may have suddenly gotten cold feet, or they may be dealing with an emergency. However, in many cases, it’s simply a lack of empathy and consideration for the other person’s time and effort.
How to recognize it:
If your partner is consistently canceling plans at the last minute, or they’re vague about why they can’t make it, that may be a sign of glamboozling.
How to avoid it:
If you’re feeling particularly vulnerable, it may be a good idea to have a backup plan in case your partner cancels. Don’t be afraid to call them out on their behavior, but also be willing to listen to their side of the story. If they’re not willing to apologize and make it up to you, it may be time to move on.
Fleabagging: Toxic Dating Patterns
If you’re a fan of the TV show “Fleabag,” you may have heard of “fleabagging” – the act of habitually dating people who are bad for you. Whether it’s someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries, constantly puts you down, or shows little interest in your well-being, fleabagging can be a vicious cycle that’s hard to break.
Why do people fleabag? Sometimes, it’s a matter of being drawn to what’s familiar, even if it’s unhealthy. Other times, it’s a lack of self-esteem or confidence that makes it hard to see one’s own worth.
How to recognize it:
If you find yourself repeatedly dating people who are wrong for you, or feeling guilty or ashamed after spending time with them, that may be a sign of fleabagging.
How to avoid it:
Trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it or try to rationalize it away. Take the time to reflect on what you really want and need in a relationship, and don’t settle for less. And remember, it’s never too late to break the cycle and start fresh.
Catfishing: Deception and Lies
We’ve all heard of catfishing, the act of creating a fake identity online to trick someone into a romantic relationship. With the rise of dating apps and social media, catfishing has become more prevalent than ever.
But it’s not just about fake profiles – it can also include lying about one’s age, occupation, or interests. Why do people catfish?
Some may do it for malicious reasons, such as scamming people out of money. Others may feel insecure about their appearance or personality, and use a fake persona to attract attention.
How to recognize it:
If your partner seems too good to be true, or there are inconsistencies in their story, that may be a sign of catfishing. Be wary of anyone who refuses to meet in person or share personal information.
How to avoid it:
Do your research. Take the time to Google your partner’s name and social media profiles, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. If something doesn’t add up, trust your gut and end the relationship. And never send money or personal information to someone you’ve never met in person.
Ghosting: Vanishing Without Closure
Ghosting has become so common that it’s almost a clich. It’s the act of suddenly cutting off all communication with someone, leaving them wondering what went wrong and why they can’t get a straight answer.
Ghosting can happen at any stage of a relationship, from the first date to a long-term commitment. Why do people ghost?
Some may feel that it’s easier than having an honest conversation about their feelings. Others may be afraid of confrontation or hurting someone’s feelings.
Whatever the reason, ghosting is a cowardly and disrespectful act that can cause lasting emotional damage.
How to recognize it:
If your partner suddenly stops returning your messages or calls, or they’re slow to respond with no explanation, that may be a sign of ghosting.
How to avoid it:
Keep your expectations realistic. Don’t invest too much energy or emotion in someone who’s not making the same effort. And if you do get ghosted, don’t take it personally. Remember that it’s a reflection of their own issues, not yours.
Cushioning: Cheating and Backup Plans
Have you ever dated someone who seemed to have one foot out the door, even while they were still with you? That’s cushioning – the act of keeping a backup plan in case things don’t work out with your current partner.
This can take many forms, from flirting with other people to actively pursuing other relationships. Why do people cushion?
Some may be afraid of being alone, or they may feel that their current relationship is lacking in some way. Others may simply enjoy the thrill of multiple pursuits.
How to recognize it:
If your partner is consistently vague about their plans or whereabouts, or they seem to be flirting with other people, that may be a sign of cushioning.
How to avoid it:
Be honest and upfront about your expectations for the relationship. If you feel that your partner is not fully invested, or they’re keeping secrets, don’t be afraid to call them out on it. And remember, you deserve someone who’s fully committed to you, not someone who’s always keeping an eye out for something better.
Kanyeing: Hearing Oneself Out
We all have that friend who loves to talk about themselves. But when it comes to dating, “kanyeing” takes it to a whole new level.
Named after rapper Kanye West, who’s notorious for his egocentric rants, kanyeing is the act of dominating a conversation with one’s own opinions and experiences, without giving the other person a chance to speak. Why do people kanye?
Some may simply enjoy the sound of their own voice, while others may feel that their opinions are more important or valuable than others’.
How to recognize it:
If your partner consistently interrupts you or talks over you, or they seem more interested in hearing themselves speak than in getting to know you, that may be a sign of kanyeing.
How to avoid it:
Be assertive about your own needs and boundaries. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel like your partner is dominating the conversation. And if they’re not willing to listen to you or show interest in your life, it may be time to move on.
Zodiac Casting: Horoscopes and Compatibility
Horoscopes have always been a popular topic of conversation, but in the world of dating, zodiac casting takes it to a new level.
This trend involves using astrology to determine compatibility and make decisions about dating and relationships. Why do people zodiac cast?
Some may feel that astrology offers valuable insights into personality and character traits, while others may simply find it fun and interesting.
How to recognize it:
If your partner is always talking about their zodiac sign or asking about yours, or they seem to make decisions based on astrological predictions, that may be a sign of zodiac casting.
How to avoid it:
While astrology can be a fun way to explore your personality and relationships, it’s important to remember that it’s not a substitute for real communication and connection. Don’t put too much stock in astrological predictions, and focus instead on getting to know your partner on a deeper level.
Jekylling: Misogyny and Negative Responses
Named after the infamous character Dr. Jekyll from Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” jekylling is the act of responding negatively or disrespectfully to a woman who rejects a man’s advances. This can take many forms, from insults to threats to physical violence.
Why do people jekyll? Unfortunately, misogyny and sexism are still pervasive in our culture, and some men feel entitled to a woman’s attention and affection, regardless of her feelings.
How to recognize it:
If your partner becomes aggressive or abusive when you try to end a relationship, or they react negatively to rejection or criticism, that may be a sign of jekylling.
How to avoid it:
Don’t ignore red flags when it comes to your partner’s behavior. If you feel that they’re exhibiting signs of anger or aggression, take steps to protect yourself and seek help if necessary. And remember, you deserve respect and consideration, not someone who will lash out when they don’t get what they want.
Rossing: Breakups, Hookups, and Cheating
If you’re a fan of the TV show “Friends,” you may have heard of “rossing” – the act of hooking up with someone immediately after a breakup. This trend can take many forms, from rebounding with a stranger to cheating on a current partner with an ex.
Why do people ross? Sometimes, it’s a matter of seeking validation or comfort after a breakup. Other times, it’s a lack of self-control or respect for boundaries.
How to recognize it:
If your partner seems too eager to move on from a breakup, or they’re secretive about their past relationships, that may be a sign of rossing.
How to avoid it:
Take time to heal and process after a breakup, and resist the temptation to jump into a new relationship too quickly. Be honest and upfront about your expectations for the relationship, and don’t be afraid to set firm boundaries if your partner is not respecting your needs.
Conclusion
In the world of dating, it’s important to be aware of the latest trends and fads. While some may be harmless, others can be hurtful, disrespectful, or even dangerous. By keeping an eye out for red flags and focusing on healthy communication and respect, you can avoid the pitfalls of modern dating and find the relationship you deserve. So go forth, and happy dating!
Glamboozling: Handling Stand-up or Ignorance in Dating
The anticipation builds up as you get ready for a date. You dress up, put on your favorite perfume, and wait for your date to show up. Time goes by, but they never arrive. You check your phone, but there’s no message or call explaining why they couldn’t make it. You were just Glamboozled.
Glamboozling is the act of standing someone up when they’re already dressed up and ready to go. It can have a profound impact on your self-esteem and lead to disappointment and frustration.
There are two types of Glamboozling: stand-up, where the date fails to show up, and ignorance, where they give no explanation for their absence.
How to Handle a Stand-up
If you’ve ever stood alone waiting for a date that never showed up, you know how terrible it feels. It’s one of the most disrespectful things a person can do, especially if you’ve put in the effort to look your best.
The first thing you should do is try to reach your date. If they don’t respond to your text or call, wait for a reasonable amount of time and then leave. Going to a nearby cafe or running errands can help distract you from the disappointment. Once you’ve left, try to contact your date again.
If they give you a reasonable explanation and they seem genuinely sorry, and you’re willing to give them a second chance, then go ahead. However, if they’re being evasive or refuse to explain, consider it a red flag and move on.
How to Handle Ignorance
Ignorance is the type of Glamboozling where your date offers no explanation for their absence. This type of behavior can be quite hurtful, especially if you were looking forward to the night.
If your date doesn’t show up and doesn’t offer an explanation, leave. Don’t dwell on the reason why and try to move on. Assume that they’re not interested and don’t waste your time chasing an explanation. If they do show up later or contact you afterward, it’s essential to set boundaries and demand an explanation.
Tell them how disappointed you were and ask for an explanation. If they can’t offer one, then it’s time to move on.
Fleabagging: Listening to Your Intuition
Fleabagging is the habit of repeatedly dating people who are wrong for you. These individuals may be toxic, or you may have different values and ideologies. Whatever the reason, the outcome is usually negative, and it’s essential to recognize the pattern and avoid repeating the same mistake. Many people are attracted to the wrong kind of person. It’s not that they don’t know better, but they tend to ignore their intuition.
Your intuition is that gut feeling that tells you when something’s not right. It’s essential to listen to it. Pay attention to what your intuition is telling you.
If you find that you’re always attracted to emotionally unavailable individuals, for example, you need to examine why that is. Maybe you’re afraid of commitment, or maybe you’re trying to fulfill a psychological need that’s rooted in your past.
Once you’ve identified your patterns, take the time to work on them. Seek counseling or therapy if you need to, and don’t be afraid to challenge yourself.
Remember, change isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary if you want to break the cycle of toxic relationships.
Conclusion:
Glamboozling and Fleabagging are just some of the many dating trends that we may encounter in the modern world. It’s essential to recognize these trends and patterns and take the necessary steps to avoid them.
Listening to your intuition and setting boundaries are crucial for building healthy relationships. When it comes to dating, patience is also key, as finding the right person may take time.
As you navigate the dating landscape, remember to stay true to yourself and never settle for less than you deserve.
Catfishing: Recognizing Deception and Lies in Online Dating
Online dating has revolutionized the dating landscape, making it easier for people to meet others from the comfort of their homes.
However, with this convenience comes the risk of falling prey to individuals who deceive and lie about their identity. This phenomenon is known as catfishing.
Catfishing occurs when someone creates a fake identity online to trick another into a romantic relationship. It can happen on dating apps or social media platforms.
