8th of April 2015

Success Story #16: He lost 80 lbs, moved out, and is living his own life

This podcast fan listened, learned, and took action in many ways to improve his life and his attractiveness: he worked out and ate paleo to lose weight, took improv classes, started meditating, found a therapist, and changed old and wrong ideas about male friends and women.

By doing things to build a better life, he is improving his mate value and becoming a more attractive man to women:

Hey Tucker, Geoffrey, Nils and Charlie,

My name is Darvinder. I am 28 and I live in Long Island, NY and I fucking love the mating grounds podcast. I have listened to every episode, many of them multiple times.

It’s funny that every time I’d sit down to type this whole thing out, I’d realize some stuff that I am not doing and get back to working on it because I thought that’s the exact advice you’d give me and I don’t want to waste your time.

I still have a lot of stuff to take care of but I just wanted to thank you guys for the awesome advice you give in clear actionable form thanks to which I have have improved as an overall man.

I am working on improving my mate value and thanks to your advice, below are the things I have accomplished so far:

1. I’ve lost 80 pounds in the past year and a half and learned powerlifting in the process. I eat paleo and this whole experience has taught me to be objectively honest about myself. One just cannot simply fake a 370 lb deadlift like many other things in life.

2. I took an intro improv class for 4 weeks and became considerably better at maintaining good eye contact and conversations. I want to continue taking these classes but the next levels are taught only on the weekdays and travelling from LI is not feasible on weekdays. I seem to have developed a bit of sense of humor and life feels good.

3. I read No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover and it helped me immensely. I was a wimp and a doormat and the book and your advice have helped me become a more assertive man. I also used to be desperate for the approval of others and after reading the book I felt free of all the guilt/emotional chains my family put on me in the past.

4. Thanks to your advice, I finally moved out. This is really a challenging thing for an Indian guy as indian men are spoiled by their mothers and then later get married to women who are basically the next level of getting spoiled. I always wanted to have my own life and your advice really helped me take the final step. I have learned to cook on my own now as well.

5. I admit I wanted to be a pickup artist from the longest time. Your pickup artist podcast clarified what I really wanted which is to be someone who is really good with women and handling his relationships. I feel grateful that I really got out of that pickup artist shit. I loved how you described yourself and I too want to be an effective man who fucking handles his life and has amazing relationships.

6. I can hardly afford a therapist now but I somehow asked her to bill me less until I find a better job. I would have never taken therapy if it was not for your and my good female friend’s advice. It has been helping a lot and I am excited to see the positive changes it will bring in me as it did to you.

7. Now I can relate to my male friends better thanks to your and Geoff’s clarification that men get closer to each other by busting each other’s balls. Earlier, I used to think why the fuck are they making these sort of offensive jokes and think all of them are fucking assholes.

8. I relate to Joe a lot and I really appreciate you guys started the Helping Joe series. The stuff you said on meditation motivated me to start doing it again and I have been doing it for 5 mins daily as soon as I wake up for the past 17 days. Thanks again for this!

9. The improv class and meditation help me be more and more in the moment and help me forget my past and be a awesome positive funny person. I pay more attention to conversations and weirdly enough, I remember what they said when I am actually listening to them and not trying to make a list in my head of the things to remember.

10. I had a very biased and inaccurate view on women and relationships because of my time in India and your podcast helped me realize that there are awesome women out there and I just have to be a normal decent human being with good/attractive qualities

[A bit of my history]
I grew up under an abusive father in India, got bullied in the school, got a lot of shit in the past because I am a sikh and much more. I had a girlfriend 6 years ago and after our breakup and other bad stuff happening in my life, I grew obese and everything was pretty much a bag of shit. I moved to NY two years ago and I used this opportunity to reset my life and achieve the things I always wanted to. I do a basic job right now that pays the bills.

[Future action steps/plans]
-Get a better job
-Get the fuck out of Long Island and move to Manhattan/close to the city
-Get rid of the turban (it is a fucking pain in the ass)
-Start training in MMA (I love it)
-Learn to dance
-Improve my dressing style and create a good wardrobe

People I know and where I work at are not happy with the mediocre lives they live and talk shit all the time and I used to feel weird that I am not normal but listening to you guys talk on the podcast made me realize that I am normal (emotionally and mentally) and would love to hangout with guys like you.

Anyway guys, I wanted share my successes with you guys as without this podcast I don’t know if I would have ever matured the way I have or understood the world as I do now. So I just wanted to let you guys know that I am grateful that something like this exists, guys like you exist who give hope to guys like me that they will have an awesome life that they always wanted.

Your jokes crack me up and I am really looking forward to your book.

P.S: I wanted to call in but when I timed myself reading this, it was way over 2.5 mins. So chose email instead. I would love to talk to you guys if possible.

Please keep up the awesome work,


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