This is another success story, and subsequent conversation that I had with a Mating Grounds listener. This is exactly how it should work:
Not to sound like a fanboy, but I wanted to let you know that I have found great value in your podcasts and new content. I would have considered myself fairly advanced with girls before listening, but I literally got INCREDIBLE RESULTS on the first night after compulsively listening to every episode the past week.
1. At 3 am last night 3 girls I met that same night were hitting me up
2. I hooked up with a 40 year old sexy realtor in an incredible penthouse (I’m only 23). My friends were completely blown away
3. This morning when I woke up and stumbled out of her house, I went to Lululemon to get clothes that didn’t smell like piss, and the girl that I had help me find clothes (stole that one directly from the podcast) came up to me when I was leaving and asked me to take her number down!
That shit normally only happens to me once per month, if I’m lucky.
The evolutionary perspective is really interesting and dead-on. I think you are on to something huge here, its kind of like the ‘crossfit approach to seducing girls’. You take scientists and put their technical talk into actionable behaviors. I really admire your change of identity, and I think when all said and done your new legacy will be so much more than the “I hope they serve beer in hell” guy
First off, that’s awesome, glad to hear it.
But would you mind being specific about what you’re doing differently, and how our advice helped? I’d love to know how exactly you’re using it, and maybe even print this email to help other guys understand (I’d make it anonymous, of course, nothing with your name or identity).
Here’s his reply – there are some real actionable points in here:
So as a background for me, two books that helped me revolutionize how I engage with strangers,clients, employee, friends, family, etc were How to Win Friends and Influence People and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Those ‘principle-based’ books (and some others) paired with crossfit and eating right were revolutionary for me in every aspect of life except seducing women in high volumes. For me, the podcasts helped me understand and empathize with where woman are coming from on a primal level and how a man adds value to her life. I think humans can over-think things and you and Dr. Miller’s perspective sort of grounds guys in the basics.
Its hard to pinpoint specifics because the thing that makes your approach helpful is its HOLISTIC, not ‘quick fixes’ like the PUA crap. The PUA stuff is Tony Robbins and you/Dr. Miller are more like Dale Carnegie/Steven Covey. The main thing I internalized from your podcast is the key to success with women is like anything else in life: stop over-complicating and creating obstacles for yourself. Simplify and go back to the basics.
That being said, I’m sure you have a wide range of audience and dumbass college kids need specifics as ‘proof’ that you are giving them actionable advice. Here is the best I can do in terms of specifics that I focused on last night:
1. stopped wearing pants, dress shirts and polos out. Wore a tight fitting t-shirt, polo shorts, and flip flops. I never had put much thought into what woman were looking for in men’s dress so I had always had the total wrong approach of wearing the clothes that allowed me to have success in business settings. I thought this would signal to girls that I was successful, but it just made me too serious and didn’t give girls a chance to evaluate my body – kind of like having a piece of art for sale with no price tag. If you don’t see the price tag you just walk away because there are so many other places where you don’t have to do the guesswork.
2. engage with the bill clinton type of seduction. make them feel like they are the only person in the world at that moment. use touch if possible.
3. Pay attention to physical signaling. For example, I got my teeth whitened for the first time this week.
4. focus 100% of attention on other people. don’t get sucked into talking too much about yourself. use your time talking to try to find their passions. The EASIEST way I have found is to ask about what they do for exercise. girls are almost always passionate about their exercise. And if they don’t exercise they are probably not worth talking to.
5. Don’t try to close at the bar. Think of a good one liner to leave on and walk away. Get creative about finding ways to meet up where the girl’s friends wouldn’t know.
6. Figure out their most obvious deepest self-conscious part of the woman and compliment it. (i.e if they are beautiful talk about how smart they are. if they are serious, tell them how funny they are if they make any sort of joke. If they are old tell them how young they look, etc).
7. Find ways to signal to women that “you don’t kiss and tell.” I had never thought about this before.
8. Consciously use humor and teasing more. Every girl in my city is so accustomed to getting the same multiple choice answers to the first 5 questions people typically ask each other. They are dying to hear something unique. Make up outrageous answers and go along with their reactions. For example, tell them that the huge 300 pound black chick behind you is your fiancee and you met on Tinder. Use deflection and humor to create mystery.
9. Focus on being non-threatening and approachable. Move fairly quickly, but with purpose. Woman are attracted to men who look like they have a plan and a purpose.
This is awesome. This guy has obviously really been paying attention, and has done a fantastic job applying our advice.
I actually learned something from this email–I learned that we aren’t being specific enough with our advice, and giving enough examples. This dude is a self-starter and really smart, so he connected the dots we laid out. Most guys won’t do that, and they’ll blame the advice. Lesson learned.