24th of April 2015

Success Story #17: Being A Tender Defender Led To Hookups And Dating A Great Woman

This email is from Tony who called in and asked a question for our Q&A about being a Tender Defender. He tells us about re-framing his perspective, his recent hookup and dating successes, and being a more effective man.

Hi guys,

You answered my question about being a Tender Defender in the modern world, and I just wanted to say thanks. It’s a subject I’d been thinking about a lot recently. Your advice about re-framing my perspective from being good at violence to being effective in general was helpful.

I have had a lot of success with women recently (a couple of hookups and just in the past few weeks I started dating a really awesome girl), and I think your advice had a hell of lot to do with it. Keep up the good work! Whenever you start taking orders for the book I’ll definitely be signing up.

P.S. I think you should get Joe involved in some kind of manly activity (ex. MMA, lifting, etc).

Having listened to a couple of podcasts, the dude sounds really unconfident in himself. I used to be like that and I think it had less to do with troubles with women than in doubting my validity as a man. I started doing things that made me feel strong, confident, and effective (ala Jack Donovan) and it helped enormously in all other areas of my life. If it’s in a group that would help too I bet.



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