This email is from a 21 year old Mating Grounds listener from Detroit. Even though he’s short, has limited sexual experience, and lives in an awful city, he took what he learned from the podcast, made changes in his mating strategy, and is now having lots of success with women.
A little less than a year ago when you were just starting up Mating Grounds, I sent you an email asking for advice about my height. Your advice was to be honest about my height (5″4) and try online dating. I’ll talk here about how I progressed from sucking to where I am currently. In the beginning I didn’t take your advice, and kind of stayed in my rut.
Then in the past few months, I began listening to your podcast (Currently on Scott Britton’s interview. I listened to that three times. He was amazing) and gave Tinder a shot. Initially, I had a shitty profile with shitty pictures and got limited matches and realized I had to change my approach. This resulted in me taking better pictures of myself, such as including one with my dog, playing hockey, making my bio more attractive, and constantly updating it as I gained more experience. I provided details about myself and was honest about my height.
At this point I was getting more matches, and able to get dates with girls if I wanted to. I realized that the majority of guys were complete douchebags on Tinder, and all I had to do was be better than them and girls were very receptive to me. This entailed simple stuff by not asking them to sit on my face in the first message, and being a gentlemen. My first line was typically “Does hello work for you or do you require a cheesy pickup line?”. My response rate to that was about 80%, much higher than any other strategy.
While this approach got me dates, I was taking the wrong approach. I was trying to court these girls by taking them out to dinner and become their boyfriend. I was still extremely inexperienced at that point (still am) and figured that this approach wasn’t resulting in sex, and often I wouldn’t be interested in the girl, or vice versa and rarely ever got past a third date. I really wanted sex. I had no sexual experience other than 2 prostitutes I had paid out of desperation because I was getting suicidal about it. I’m not exactly proud of doing that, but It’s now behind me and I don’t regret it.
I modified my Tinder profile again, to cater towards a more Friend With Benefits situation, and developed another first message that I assumed would be more successful. I kept the stuff I had before such as my interests (hockey, school, food) and letting them know I was short. Everything else I took out and replaced with, “Not on here for one specific purpose exactly. I’m not against the idea of a long term relationship, and like any heterosexual young male with a busy life, I’m interested in safe, casual, short term relationships as well.”
I also developed my first message, “Is their any chance you’d be interested in a safe, casual, Friends With Benefits relationship? I’m extremely busy with school and work and don’t exactly have time to commit to a full time, long term relationship, but I’m not interested in slutty one night stands either.”
I have about 180 matches, and a lot of them I had not even talked to, so I sent that message out to about 40 girls. Some I had had brief conversations with in the past, others I had been matched with for a month and not talked to. Of those 40, about 20 responded. Maybe 10 of them said that they weren’t interested, but appreciated the way I asked it. I kindly thanked them for responding, and wished them the best. Of those 5 who said they weren’t interested made mention they would contact me in the future if their intentions changed. Of the 10 girls that expressed interest, 3 said they would think about it (all virgins that wanted to lose it). Another 3 said they were interested, then just stopped responding randomly during conversations. With the other 4 I am regularly having sex with 2 of them. Another is a virgin, and we are currently setting up plans, and the fourth is a 33 year old I have a coffee date with to discuss things.
With all 4 of these girls, I was completely honest with them about my limited experience and other aspects of conversation, and that worked wonders. The only thing I didn’t disclose was that my limited experience was prostitute quickies.
Just recently I also started messaging sexually to this girl I had just been talking with about random non-sexual things for about a month on Tinder. I proposed a threesome with my fuck buddy, and after a bit of convincing she agreed. This was only 2 days ago, and I wasn’t even sure if she was going to commit to the threesome. After talking to her in class today a bit and letting her know I probably failed a finance test I hadn’t studied for I was offered a cheer up blowjob from this girl that I hadn’t actually met in person. Of course I accepted, and within 2 minutes of meeting this girl in-person her lips were wrapped around my cock.
So that’s my lovely story. Complete idiot to having regular sex with 3+ beautiful women. Thanks for providing all this information for free and helping the world out, you could have potentially saved my life.
-21 Years Old in Metro Detroit.
This post is sponsored by Dude Wipes, the first flushable wipes for men. They are much better than toilet paper, and we love using them. Check them out on Amazon for free shipping and sales this month.