Another guy who is listening, learning, understanding and applying our advice to his life. Not shockingly, he’s seeing great results. My comments in bold.
Just wanted to say thank you for the help you’ve given me so far on the mating ground. I’ve taken your advice to start focusing on myself and it’s already paying off.
So far I’ve signed up to volunteer with a charity and joined a couple of dating sites (actually, that was before the article on where to meet women so it was validating to see I’m on the right track)
However, the biggest change is in my frame of mind and how comfortable I am socially.
As an example, I usually hate parties but last night I went to one at a friends and had a REALLY awesome time. The longer I was there the more extroverted I felt and the more fun I had.
Seriously, my stress level has dropped, I feel confident and EXCITED about making new friends and dating.
Firstly, I know you are busy and therefore I want to thank you for giving me your time. There is actually a lot I would like to write/talk about because I have been following your work as well as Miller’s for years and that’s its own story.
Quickly though, I was just cleaning the house listening to episode 8 when you guys touched on persistence v. stalking and I can say, from absolute recent experience that what you guys said is perfect because very recently I was texting/getting to know this girl who in a passing remark said she, “will value my friendship very much.” I won’t lie, that statement genuinely crushed me because I felt like she had sniper friend-zoned me. But because I kept talking to her like a person that I actually valued (which I did) she later admitted that my persistence was what let her know I was genuine and not just trying to get in her pants (I won’t lie, I wanted that too.) He is talking about the Friendzone episode, it’s good, listen to it if you missed it.
You might get a kick from this: the text that moved us from casual fb-chatting to seriously interested in each other was when I found out she was reading ‘Sex At Dawn’ and sent a pic of my bookshelf back to her.
Anyways… I am eagerly looking forward to everything you guys publish, record, release, etc. not because I need help anymore but because at one point I was the guy you are writing to and its akin to losing a ton of weight. You still need to go to the gym. Increasing your understanding of women is never a bad thing. And for all the guys that say this is bs, or think the seduction community has the answers they are wrong; but this whole thing still amazes me some times. If someone had told me even a month ago that I would be in a serious intimate relationship with a girl that often gets compared to Rihanna I would say they are insane.
I just started listening to your podcast recently. I follow you on Twitter, so I saw you link the podcast recently and checked it out. I’m so intrigued by you and Dr Miller’s discussions around women and our interactions with them. I have what the majority of men would consider a “hot girlfriend”. I mean obviously, i believe that, but it is validated by the fact that she literally can’t go out in public (with or without me) and not be gawked out or hit on. I asked her this morning after listening to your most recent podcast, the high school and puberty one, what are the top 3 things that attracted her to me, a totally average looking guy. Her responses are (and i’m quoting the text messages):
1. “You’re confidence is number one”
2. “The way you present yourself” when i asked her to explain further she said “The way you dress, the way you act around others. very clean, happy, determined, you let your personality shine regardless of who is around”
3. “Your humor. You always make me laugh”
These responses are spot on with the message you and Dr. Miller are trying to deliver. When we do go out to bars or clubs, we get stared at and douchey guys say shit to me like “You outkicked your coverage” or “How the hell did you bag that”. They say this (based on what i’m learning from you two) because superficially they see average looking guy w/ super hot girl. They could give two fucks that I was actually a human to her when we first met, and the foundation of our relationship isn’t purely physical attraction. I just want to say, it’s awesome what you guys are doing and keep up the good work. I enjoy the hell out of listening.
And, just so you know i’m not totally bullshitting you, here’s a couple photos
Great job. Heard about ‘the mating grounds’ from Dr Christopher Ryan’s podcast.
Im 37, recently divorced, and have begun transforming my life after having never dated before. I was a serial monogamist since 18!!! I had only been with four women when I got married. My dad and grandfather were NOT playas, smooth, or otherwise remarkable with women.
Im tall, intelligent, good looking and was still really struggling to meet and date beautiful women. It was discouraging as hell. I was getting bitter, im sorry to say.
… Long story short I lost weight, started learning, changed my wardrobe and now im having dates with two successfull, gorgeous, women this week, after three weeks of approaching women in various places. That’s a record for me. Last week I had fantastic sex with a woman I met online, whom I will definitely see again.
This is utterly bizarre to me and I really feel like it hasn’t sunk in. Before taking some of your early advice about my approach, and sense of style, I was a complete awkward loser! Now I’m doing noticeably better.
When I heard your analogy about “Imagine you are in a Gay bar, and all around you the men are 7 foot tall, heavily muscled, and poorly dressed… ” from “what dating is like for women” really helped me see that I needed to change my perspective about a lot of things regarding women. Starting with my bitterness, I eliminated negative thinking – great advice. He’s talking about this episode, though we talk about these issues in almost every episode.
I still haven’t figured out my dating goals but I hear sex is good for your brain so I have faith that over time it will work itself out.