BECOME THE MAN WOMEN WANT
17th of November 2014

How To Be Attractive To Women, Pt. 7: Smart Is Sexy (Intelligence)

Introduction:

One of the traits that women find most attractive in men is intelligence. There’s a huge amount of untapped intelligence potential in almost every guy, and unlocking this potential will make you significantly more attractive. In this episode, Tucker and Geoff tell you some myths about intelligence, why intelligence is attractive, and how you can become more intelligent.

Podcast:


You can click here (right click, then click save as) to download the episode directly.

Click here to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes.
Click here to subscribe to the podcast on Stitcher.

Video:

[coming soon]

SPONSOR: This episode is sponsored by Bookhacker. They do the reading, so you don’t have to. Check them out on Amazon or Bookhacker.net.

If you want to sponsor the Mating Grounds Podcast, email [email protected].

Key takeaways:

  • Intelligence is one of the top three traits women are attracted to, along with kindness and humor.
  • It’s not raw intellectual ability that women are attracted to, it’s how is the intelligence applied to actual goals in life.
  • Intelligence is not fixed. It’s very highly heritable, but you can learn a lot more and appear a lot more intelligence. If you make an effort to expose yourself to good ideas and concepts and words and findings and ways of thinking about the world, you can end up so much smarter effectively than even a typical Ivy League grad in America.
  • Intelligence is a normal distribution bell curve. If you’re in the middle, there are lots of women who are similar in intelligence to you, and because people do what’s called assortative mating, they tend to kind of IQ match on who they mate with, so if you’re in the middle, it’s kind of a blessing because there’s a lot of potential women who will get you.
  • If you’re a smart guy, you can do really well with women. You just need to find smart women and then engage them either on the topics they’re smart about or you’re smart about. You don’t have to be smart on the same things.
  • In all jobs, the smarter you are, the better you do. There are many very smart men and women who are not in academic book-smart type jobs. Just because you’re not an academic and not in school, doesn’t mean you aren’t intelligent.
  • The data shows that the average IQ is equal for men and women. Males show more variation — there’s more male idiots and more male geniuses at the extremes. They also have different strengths and weaknesses. Women are a little more verbally fluent, and guys are a little stronger on spatial navigation. But for a lot of things, the sexes are pretty equal.
  • Women, for the most part, don’t care what you’re smart about. They just want to see you smart at something. Whatever it is you like, whatever it is you enjoy, learn it. Understand it. Be knowledgeable enough about it to teach it to someone who doesn’t know anything about it who might be interested. If you can do that, that’s a fantastic way to not only be smarter and more effective at life, which is always gonna be good for you, but also to use your intelligence to attract women.

Links from this episode

Podcast Audio Transcription:

Tucker:
Alright, so this podcast is about intelligence. We’re gonna cover what intelligence is, what IQ is, how it works, and most importantly for you, why do women care? Alright, and we actually might get into how to change and improve your intelligence. We’re gonna kind of see where the conversation goes. It might have to be a separate podcast. Alright, so I’m gonna start before we even introduce the topic. So, obviously my partner in Mating Grounds is Dr. Geoff Miller. This is actually one of his main areas of research. It’s not just Evolutionary Psychology, but intelligence research. He’s published, I don’t know, something close to over twenty papers or book chapters or whatever about this. It’s one of his real, main areas of research, so part of my job in this podcast is gonna get him to actually – ‘cause, literally, we could probably do twenty podcasts about intelligence and Dr. Miller would not run out of things to say, so my job is gonna be to keep him sort of on things that are relevant. Even though this is a very interesting topic and it’s super…it’s very important for mating. Make no mistake about it. In terms of top three female preferences in men, where does intelligence rank?

Geoff:
Across cultures, it’s usually either one or two, with kindness. Kindness and intelligence, at least in terms of a long-term mate.

Tucker:
Kindness, intelligence, humor. Those are normally the top three, right?

Geoff:
Yeah. Pretty typically, yeah.

Tucker:
Okay. So, we’ve talked a lot about humor. We’re actually gonna talk a little bit more about humor in this podcast. We’re gonna talk a lot more on humor later on, ‘cause it’s so important. We’re gonna talk about kindness a lot. Intelligence is super important. Women are…I know a lot of nerdy guys don’t believe this, but it’s true. Women are very turned on by smart guys, and I am one of the iconic pieces of proof of this. I’m not that good-looking. I’m better looking than trolls and, you know, hunchbacks and shit. But no woman has ever come up to me and been like, “Oh, you’re so attractive. I wanna touch your penis,” except, like, really ugly fat girls have said this. Those are the only women who approach me because of my looks. That should tell you how good-looking I am. They think I’m ugly enough to be accessible, but still good-looking enough for them ‘cause they’re ugly. I’m not that tall. I’m not really that rich. Even before I got to be famous and girls who care about that, intelligence is almost always how I got girls. And I’m sure you’ve experienced the same thing in your life ‘cause you’re—

Geoff:
Yeah. Exactly the same, yeah.

Tucker:
Right. So, let’s talk a little bit about intelligence. Let’s start with the reason that guys care. Why do women care about intelligence, on an evolutionary, unconscious level. Why the fuck does a woman care how smart you are?

Geoff:
Well, it’s basically the same reason they care about health. Like, if you think…what is health? It’s kind of abstract, but really it’s just how well your body works. Right, it’s how well all your organ systems function together to run and hunt and fight off disease and make babies. Intelligence is basically how well your brain works, how well all the different parts of your neuro-circuitry cooperate to control behavior and learn stuff, be witty, and it predicts so much in life that’s important to women. It predicts how good a partner you’re gonna be, right? Can you understand women’s needs and desires? How constructive are you in arguments? Can you coordinate effectively, like show up on time to pick up the kids? Or do you just forget, or you’re so stupid you can’t even drive.

Tucker:
Can you imagine?

Geoff:
Or, like, read a Google calendar or whatever. And it also predicts professional success. It predicts social success. It predicts pretty much success in any domain of life that any intelligence researchers have ever studied. So, if a woman knows what your intelligence is, she knows a lot about how your life is gonna play out in the future.

Tucker:
So, what you’re basically saying is, and we’ve talked about this many times, one of the big things that women care about is how effective are you as a human being? And really, in a lot of ways, that’s saying how intelligent are you, right? Not exactly, ‘cause you and I both know people who are really, really smart who can’t get their piss in the toilet, right? So, raw, intellectual ability is not necessarily what women are attracted to, correct? It’s more wisdom. How the intelligence is applied to actual goals in life, correct?

Geoff:
Yeah. It’s how it plays out. It’s just like if you have a lot of health, but you don’t know how to do anything physically with your body.

Tucker:
Right. We talked about being in shape vs. movement.

Geoff:
If you’re super healthy, but you can’t dance and you can’t do sports and you never learned how to walk, basics. It’s just like that with intelligence. It’s not really the raw IQ that’s super sexy. It’s what you do with it that is romantically relevant to women.

Tucker:
So, we’re gonna have a whole – the next podcast is gonna be signaling and displaying intelligence, so we’re gonna talk very specifically about what to do to show women that you’re intelligent. But let’s…I wanna lay the foundation for that. Let’s talk – in fact, I actually wanna learn…I mean, I know a lot of stuff, but this is an area where my expertise is not, I don’t have it…I haven’t even read that much is IQ and intelligence. I don’t know very much. Explain to the listeners and to me, what is the difference between IQ and general intelligence and should we even care?

Geoff:
Yeah. IQ is just a way to measure intelligence, and IQ tests, like the gold standard. There’s one called the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale. If somebody talks about, “This is my real IQ score,” hopefully they’ve done the WAIS. It’s not just some shitty online paper-and-pencil test.

Tucker:
Right. On Luminosity.

Geoff:
The Wechsler’s kind of interesting ‘cause people think of IQ tests as being paper and pencil tests that just kind of test your academic smarts, like your book smarts, like the SAT. But actually, the Wechsler’s about a dozen tasks that you do face-to-face, one-on-one with an interviewer, and it takes a couple of hours. It’s almost like a date. So, you’re doing all these different things. Some of them are verbal tasks. Some are non-verbal. It’s playing with shapes….

Tucker:
Metaphors, comparisons…

Geoff:
It’s playful, right? Some of it tests your knowledge, but a lot of it basically tests how fast are you at learning stuff? And you need a dozen different tasks, because there’s no one task that indicates your latent intelligence with complete accuracy, so you’ve gotta do a bunch of different things and that’s just, like, on a date for a woman to sort of intuitively assess your intelligence, she’s gotta see, how does he handle his body? How does he talk? What does he know about?

Tucker:
His driving…

Geoff:
How does he manage his eye contact? Right. Does he know how to pronounce ratatouille on the menu? Whatever.

Tucker:
That’s what the rats make. I saw the Disney movie.

Geoff:
I know! In Paris!

Tucker:
Right. I saw that movie. The rats make that dish.

Geoff:
Yeah. So, I think of a date as being kind of like an unconscious IQ test. It’s really similar to the Wechsler in that way. The latent factor, intelligence, what we call the G-factor, is basically an average across all of the different things your brain could be good at, right.

Tucker:
So, that’s like spatial reasoning, logical reasoning, etc., right?

Geoff:
Yeah. It’s kind of the average of, like, how many words do you know? How much knowledge do you have? How quickly can you perceive things? How fast can you make decision?

Tucker:
How good is your memory?

Geoff:
Yeah, memory. Can you repeat phone numbers backwards? That kind of thing. And it’s not that repeating phone numbers backwards is that useful in life, but we found, lo and behold, it happens to be a fast, cheap, easy way to test general intelligence.

Tucker:
It’s an honest signal.

Geoff:
Yeah. You can’t fake it. If you brain doesn’t work right, you’re not gonna remember twenty sequenced digits of numbers and be able to repeat them backwards.

Tucker:
Uh-huh. So, actually, I have a funny story to tell about IQ tests. It’s funny, it’ll tell you a lot about me as a person. Tell me what you think about this. So, when I was twelve, thirteen, fourteen, I can’t remember, my mom, who is a little bit crazy, thought I was crazy, and so her and one of the school counselors she got together with and conspired and they thought I was nuts, so the first part of their way of proving that I needed a special school or something – and I guess this is more about my mom than my life, but the first part was an IQ test, right? And so, she scheduled to have me – and it was, like, a Wechsler. It was, like, a two-day thing and all that stuff. So, I knew I was gonna do that in about two weeks. So, I think I was thirteen, I might have been twelve. But, I went to the UK – University of Kentucky, I lived in Lexington at the time – to the Kentucky…they have a separate psych library, and I read…like, I figured out that the Wechsler is kind of protected. There’s not an answer key that you can publicly get.

Geoff:
It’s kind of a secret.

Tucker:
Right. Exactly, which I thought I could – I went to the library to walk in and figure out what the answer key was, ‘cause I did. I thought it would be, like, a multiple choice. “I’m just gonna memorize the answer key and I’m gonna knock it out of the park and get a 200 or something, right?” And then, like, the librarian was laughing at me, “No, you can’t—“ Whatever. And so, I basically figured out how to get the answer key. I waited until that librarian left and the other one came in, and I…this is pretty funny, actually. I worked myself into tears and I came in and I told this sob story about my sister who’s a psychologist and she’s new and I didn’t understand anything going on, but she said she needed something about the Wechsler, the thing behind the desk. I don’t know what’s going on, but she’s—and the woman almost started crying and basically handed me the entire answer key. Like, it’s this book. There’s a lot of shit in there, right? And it was pretty good. I’m pretty excited about this. To this day, I’m like, that was actually one of the days I knew I was gonna succeed in life, when I got that. And then I just started poring through it and I realized…First off, I didn’t realize at the time ‘cause what do I understand? So much of that is, like, very culturally specific, which is a whole different discussion. Look, if you’re listening to this, you probably live in the Western culture. You understand English, so it’s not…if you’re a Bantu tribesman, then the cultural stuff makes sense. If you live in America, it doesn’t. But anyways, so I kind of went through. I’m like, “Oh, okay. So, when they ask you to compare apples to oranges, here’s the things they’re looking for.” ‘Cause there’s a thousand things that I could conceive of, but instead I’m like, “Here’s the things they’re looking for, and when they want this, here’s what they’re looking for and when they want this, here’s what they’re looking for.” So, you know, it’s not really memorizable, but what I did is I hacked the test and I understood what types of answers they were looking for. Then, I took it back. I spent I don’t know how long, ten hours doing that. Took it back, “Thank you so much. My sister blah blah blah.” Took the test, like, three days later. I forget – they never told me what my IQ was. They told my mom, right? And I remember, I know it must have been really high because my mom was really mad. Like, it was something…she didn’t tell me. My school psychologist was like, “Yeah, we’ve never seen…” The thing she told me is, “The highest we’ve ever seen in our school is 150,” and I was like…”So, I did better than that?” She was like, “Well, that was the highest we’ve ever seen and you are now the highest,” but she wouldn’t tell me how much. And it doesn’t mean my IQ is that high. I literally hacked it. My IQ might be 105. I just fucking hacked the test, right? Which I think in a way means that I have the highest fucking IQ ever because I hacked the IQ test! That should be the definitive – like in Star Trek where Kirk hacked the simulation?

Geoff:
That’s exactly – the Kobayashi Maru test.

Tucker:
The fact that you know what it is tells you the difference, but that’s why he passed is ‘cause he hacked the thing. No one could pass it. He passed it because he hacked it. Same thing with me. That’s actually where I got the idea, was from Star Trek. Anyway, so after that, it was pretty funny, the whole trajectory of my life changed. Like, I was maybe going to someplace I didn’t wanna go, and then after that, it was like they couldn’t fuck with me. I was the untouchable in the school. It was funny…Yeah, I was twelve, because I had not been in…Here I am, done all this stuff, this smart dude, right? I was not in the Gifted and Talented program in fucking bumfuck Kentucky, like the fucking elementary school! I wasn’t in the Gifted and Talented program in, like, an 800,000 person elementary school! I wasn’t one of the twenty smartest kids, according to their tests!

Geoff:
And your parents weren’t cousins.

Tucker:
Right? Exactly. And it was like, “Okay. That’s fine.” So, that year – it was, I was twelve ‘cause it was the summer before I went into sixth grade. Sixth grade year, they put me in Gifted and Talented, right? And whatever. And then it’s funny, that’s one of the reasons I hacked law school is I did the same approach. Instead of thinking how do I study a lot and learn everything? I thought what are the professors looking for? How do I figure that out? Then, you know, I graduated with a 3.0 and never went to class! Anyway, so that’s…if you are bad at IQ tests, don’t necessarily…it doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It doesn’t mean anything necessarily bad about you. IQ tests track – how well do IQ tests track the general intelligence or whatever?

Geoff:
I mean, the correlation’s, like, .8. It’s pretty fucking high.

Tucker:
Right, but not dispositive. Not absolutely, like—

Geoff:
No. There’s always measurement error, right? And—

Tucker:
Measurement error and sort of the way the test tests and sort of…There’s always ways around it in a way.

Geoff:
Yeah. And like, when you were twelve, you know, your IQ hadn’t quite stabilized yet. Like, if you take an IQ test at age twenty, it’s really pretty strongly indicative of how things are gonna play out. But at age ten, it hasn’t stabilized yet. In fact, there’s evidence that there’s a lot of genes that influence intelligence that don’t even really get turned on until puberty. So…

Tucker:
Yeah, I was starting to hit puberty at twelve.

Geoff:
You can kind of predict, you know, age ten to twenty a little bit, but there are literally new gene activation patterns that influence how your brain works that happen in that adolescent age range. So, yeah, if you scored badly on a test when you were super young, don’t worry about it. If you scored badly last week and you’re, like, twenty-two, sorry, dude. But…We’ll cover lots of other compensating traits you can kind of focus on.

Tucker:
So, actually, that’s a perfect segue. Let’s say I’m a dude and I’m not…I think I’m smart, but whatever. I’m probably average, right? So, what do I do? Intelligence is one of the most important factors for attraction for women, right? So, part of it is how you display your intelligence, which we’re gonna do in the next podcast. But let’s start now with how do I improve it or change it or alter it? What can I do to make myself smarter?

Geoff:
So, it’s a tricky thing in that on the one hand, intelligence is highly genetic. I mean, the heritability of IQ in adults, how strongly influenced it is by genes is about 80%. It’s only about 50% in kids, but it’s high in adults.

Tucker:
Basically, so you’re not gonna be…Chances are, you’re not gonna be much smarter than your parents. Or much dumber, probably, right?

Geoff:
Yeah. You’re pretty likely to be kind of the average of your two parents in terms of how your intelligence plays out. But even a little more average than them. If your parents are super bright, you’ll probably, sadly, be a little dumber than them. If they’re super dumb, you’ll probably be a little smarter than them. So, there’s genetic intelligence. But then, there’s learning potential and there’s what you do with your intelligence, and particularly in American culture, which is pretty anti-intellectual and particularly a lot of young men don’t read. They just kind of hang out, they watch some sports, play some video games. They don’t really make an effort to build their world knowledge or their skills or vocabulary or all that stuff. So, there’s a huge amount of untapped intelligence potential in almost every guy. You know, unless you’re crazy over-educated like Tucker and me. We’re pretty much at the max of what our brains can do—

Tucker:
Right. Our issues are now emotional, not intelligence.

Geoff:
Yeah. Our issues are completely emotional. Not—

Tucker:
Not intelligence.

Geoff:
It’s like a dynamic. But if you haven’t read a non-fiction book in the last two weeks, if you don’t subscribe to—

Tucker:
Two weeks? Two years for a lot of guys.

Geoff:
Yeah, or ever. If you watch action movies on Netflix instead of documentaries, there’s a huge amount you can do to build your world knowledge. I noticed this for example, I lived in London for…Well, England for nine years, took a lot of London taxis. London taxi drivers aged twenty are dumb as a stump. They don’t know anything.

Tucker:
Like most 20-year-old men.

Geoff:
Like most 20-year-olds. But 40-year-old London taxi drivers, after twenty years of watching BBC and David Attenborough documentaries and listening to BBC Radio, they know more about the world than most 40-year-old American professors.

Tucker:
Professors. Not men.

Geoff:
Because they get exposed to this public culture that, like…if I say, “Oh, I’m a professor. I work on human sexuality,” a typical London cabbie, age forty, will be like, “Oh, I saw this really cool thing about bowerbirds and oh yeah, I know all about sexual selection.” They can, like, engage in it. They read The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. American taxi drivers, not so much, right?

Tucker:
Most of them aren’t American. They’re foreign immigrants and they’re trying to – it’s a very different dynamic, but right. I know what you mean. Actually, forget taxi drivers. 40-year-old men in America, not so much.

Geoff:
Yeah. if you make an effort to expose yourself to good ideas and concepts and words and findings and ways of thinking about the world, you can end up so much smarter effectively than even a typical Ivy League grad in America.

Tucker:
Alright, hold on. So, let’s pretend I’m 20-year-old frat bro Joe Schmo, and I’m like, “Yeah, whatever. This fucking Poindexter’s telling me to read or to watch the BBC America. It fucking sucks. I don’t like it. This is stupid. I just wanna fucking get laid.” So, what do you say, aside from the fact that he’s a douche, what do you say to that guy? Actually, let’s change him a little bit. He’s like, “Yeah. I wanna learn. I wanna be smarter, but I don’t care about the shit you’re talking about. I’m not gonna watch the BBC. This is so fucking boring.” Which, in a way, they have a point, right? British television is really fucking boring, most of it. What do you say to them? Like, they wanna improve their skills and get smarter. What you just said, I think a lot of guys will be like, “Yeah, okay, that makes sense. I’ll follow smart people on Twitter. I’ll watch a few documentaries. I’ll try and learn stuff.” But let’s take at least the 50% of guys in America, ‘cause that’s British culture. In America, it’s not that they want to be stupid. I don’t believe that American culture is anti-intellectual. What I believe is that – what I think, and tell me if you agree or disagree, is that it’s very immediate and that it’s very entertainment-based. So, if you can teach me in a way that’s exciting, novel, entertaining to me, I will listen to you, which is what we’re trying to do with Mating Grounds. I mean, god knows this is not the most exciting podcast ever created, but talking about sex, dating, and relationships, I think we’re well above the bar, right? So, what do you say to those guys about what should they be listening to, watching, learning? How should they approach increasing their intelligence?

Geoff:
Well, yeah. Realize they live in an entertainment culture where they women they meet are used to being entertained by professionally produced movies and radio shows and—

Tucker:
Even YouTube is now professional.

Geoff:
You know, if you ask yourself, “Why should she date me? Why would she want me as a hookup or a boyfriend?” you have to ask yourself, “How entertaining am I compared to what else she could be doing or watching or listening to?” And a lot of women…We’ve done the surveys. We just mentioned intelligence is one of the top-rated most attractive things. Why? ‘Cause women love to learn new stuff from the guys they’re dating. It’s a turn-on, it impresses them, it excites them.

Tucker:
Learning done right is always fun.

Geoff:
Yeah. Women love to use their brains, and if you work to build yourself into being an interesting guy so that a woman enjoys your intellectual company, and by intellectual I don’t mean that you’re talking about Kierkegaard and Star Trek and Quantum Physics.

Tucker:
It can be whatever—

Geoff:
Whatever you’re interested in, you can talk about.

Tucker:
That’s not video games. Unless she’s into video games.

Geoff:
Anything that she actually finds interesting. If you’re her entertainer, you’re like her little professor that she has in her pocket. That’s gold. That’s awesome.

Tucker:
Yeah. You’re the only person that would say professor in a pocket is hot for a girl, but I know what you mean. So, let me add – ‘cause the one thing I do know a lot about is sort of what’s called deliberate practice or learning, that sort of thing. I actually totally agree with you. I think the American – we’re gonna talk about signaling in the next episode, but I think the American educational system is totally fucked up for one specific reason, that it doesn’t actually care about teaching guys or girls, actually either one. It cares about teaching people how to obey the authority and then credentialing them. It doesn’t care about teaching. It doesn’t care if people learn, because if it cared if people learned, it would not be designed the way it is, to be so fucking boring and so awfully constructed. I would say legitimately, at least 50, maybe upwards of 75% of what I learned in school, whether it’s high school or college or law school, I learned on my own, maybe with the reading as a sort of starting point. But I can remember, I had a lot of classes that – especially in this field. Evolution, Evolutionary Psychology, Psychology, Sexuality, they’re so fucking interesting, but they’re taught so boring. They’re so fucking boring, these professors. I wanna stab ‘em in the…Oh, god, the ones I had were so bad. But right, like, I’ve seen your lectures. They’re actually pretty good. Like, you have, like, cool pictures and you don’t make it entertainment. You just talk about the interesting things. So, guys, if you’re really bored with school and it really sucks, that’s okay. School’s not designed to entertain you, alright? What I would tell you to do is figure out what it is you like and then go learn about it. Here’s a great example. I’m not a huge dinosaur person, but I like Paleontology a little bit. I mean, dinosaurs are fucking cool. I would say 80-90% of guys think dinosaurs – huge fucking lizards with big fucking teeth chasing other lizards and eating them is pretty cool, right? So, I cannot tell you on how many dates I’ve taken girls to Natural History Museums. There’s one in Houston that’s, like, amazing. There’s a bunch in New York. Almost every city has a museum that has dinosaur bones in it, right? And they’re always fucking cool. I don’t know many girls that don’t think huge fucking dinosaur carcasses aren’t cool. They’re amazing. I’m no expert in fucking Paleontology. Like, I barely know more than someone who’s watched Jurassic Park. I know a little bit more. Do you know why? I’ve read zero books on Paleontology. Mostly watched documentaries, Discovery Channel stuff, whatever, right? I’ve read a little bit, but not really very much. Really very little. But I’ll take a girl to whatever, I mean, I’m taking my girlfriend to…this weekend, actually, to Houston. We’re staying at Hotel ZaZa, which is right next to the Natural History Museum, and even though I’m already fucking her, it’s not like I have to impress her more, but it’s a fun interaction. She doesn’t know much about that, but she loves dinosaurs, too, because everyone does. Like, oh, this is a Megalodon, which was a giant shark. These are like Great Whites, but they’re three times larger and their teeth are huge. It’s fucking cool. There’s all these tiny little facts. I probably know fifty dinosaur facts, and I’m gonna use thirty or forty of them in this tour as we’re walking around, talking about it, whatever, and she’s gonna have a great time. She’s gonna be super impressed with my knowledge. She’s not gonna think I’m a Paleontologist, but she’s gonna think, “Oh, wow. He’s really smart.” I’m gonna have a great time because she’ll be impressed with me. It’s gonna be a fantastic interaction that will enrich our relationship. If she wasn’t fucking me already, she would start after this, I could promise you.

Geoff:
And every woman who gets taken to a Natural History Museum who’s, like, over the age of eighteen is automatically thinking, “Oh, it’d be so sweet if we were doing this with our children together.”

Tucker:
Exactly. It shows empathy and kindness. Right. So, no one’s ever gonna accuse me of being an academic nerd, but those things can be really fun. But here’s the thing. If you show up, like, “Uh…look at the fucking dinosaurs, blah blah,” then you’re just another fucking doofus and she’s like, “Ugh.” You know?

Geoff:
I had exactly this experience when I was dating a model in New York. It only lasted, like, a week, but take a model to New York Natural History Museum, yeah. Because it’s exactly what we talked about before. Beautiful women like to be appreciated for her intelligence. Intelligent women like to be appreciated for her beauty.

Tucker:
No one’s ever done that with her before. Exactly.

Geoff:
And typical guy taking out a gorgeous model would go, “Well, she’ll wanna go to, like, a real expensive restaurant.” That’s happened hundreds of times for her before.

Tucker:
Totally unimpressive to her.

Geoff:
But nobody’s ever explained what a Megalodon is! And she responded really positively. I’ve talked to women who actually talk about having what’s…I learned this from the Naomi Wolf book Vagina, reading it yesterday. Women experience what’s called a vaginal pulse. Like, their vagina actually pulses with excitement when guys do cool stuff.

Tucker:
Oh, she said that. Oh, yeah. “My pussy’s throbbing,” right?

Geoff:
Yeah. And not just from lust. Like, when a guy does anything skillfully athletic, if he helps a stranger’s child, even, if he says something funny, or if you teach them something. I’ve had women talk about being physically aroused if a guy is explaining something in a cool way that they didn’t know before.

Tucker:
Yeah. We talked about – yeah, that one Chinese or Korean girl who was all into me when she saw me play soccer. I’m having a million – do you know how many women I taught about wine? I grew up in a restaurant family, so I know wine. Like, I really know wine well. Like, you know…Bouchalès, Bordeaux, I can explain all that sort of stuff, and what’s funny, as a kid I’m like, “Ugh, I don’t give a shit about fucking Bordeaux and Grand Cru and First Cru. No one cares.” And I got older and it’s like, every woman almost likes wine, and none of them know what to drink. They don’t know how to tell the difference between good and bad wine. They don’t know anything, and so I realized, “Oh, let me explain what a Grand Cru is vs. First Cru and why one’s expensive, why one’s not. Put good wine next to bad wine.” I don’t know how many women I fucked because I explained wine to them. They were, like, blown away, super excited, ‘cause most guys are like, “Oh, I drink beer. Wine’s for pussies,” right? Again, neither of us are saying you have to know about dinosaurs or wine to get girls. Whatever it is you want to know about, you care about, know about it and teach it to women. Great example, football. I don’t care what you say, there are very few women who actually like football. A lot of women watch it. They say they care about it. Okay, some do. For the most part, I think most girls that actually watch football do it because they wanna impress guys, right? Which is fine, nothing wrong with that. Most guys actually don’t understand football at all. They just watch it, like, “Go Cowboys.” “Who’s the Starting Left Guard?” “I don’t know.” “Why is the Tight End split out wide? What advantage does that give?” “I don’t know.” They don’t know anything. They’re just retards, right? If you can explain the basic concepts of football to a woman in a way that’s intelligent and actually enlightening, allows her to enjoy the game more, teachers her what to watch for so she knows what she’s seeing, super impressed. And that’s football!

Geoff:
Yeah. Partly ‘cause that knowledge makes…increases her mate value to all subsequent men she meets. She can talk about it to them. It increases it among her female friends and peer group, and it’s a turn on. You know, I’m kind of biased ‘cause I work in academia and have for, like, thirty years or whatever, but there are a lot of intelligent women out there who are so frustrated. Like, remember how bored you are in your college classes. Look around, the women are bored, too. They crave intellectual stimulation of some sort. They want to learn things, whatever it is, and their professors typically aren’t supplying that craving. So, whatever you know, it doesn’t have to be wine and…it’s so much better if you’ve worked in a car repair shop and if you can explain to a woman and demonstrate just how to replace her air filter in her car, that’s better than trying to be all pretentious and, like, read Brief History of Time and try to talk about Quantum Physics.

Tucker:
Right. ‘Cause you’re gonna sound stupid…

Geoff:
Just capitalize on what you already know, and you already know stuff that 90% of women don’t know.

Tucker:
Oh, my god, I just thought of this amazing story. I don’t know if I ever put this in one of my books, but Slingblade, from my books, is one of my best friends from law school. He’s ridiculously smart. I’ll never forget this in my life. We were at some club in DC or some bar, and this girl was so hot. She was just, like, one of those girls where you’re like, “Uh…” Just staring at her, drooling, acting like an idiot. And I started talking to her and she was just…none too impressed with me. It was clear very quickly, this girl was really smart, right? And normally, I crush with smart girls. I do really well. This girl wanted no piece of – granted, I was, like, twenty-seven, so I don’t blame her. I was kind of a disaster and she kind of seemed like she had her shit together. And she said something, I’m like, you know…I forget what happened. Anyway, the point is, she goes, “Oh, yeah, I’m a grad student.” I’m like, “Oh, yeah. I know you have to get a Master’s to be a teacher, right?” Like, joking with her? And she’s like, “No, asshole. I’m a grad student in Quantum Computing.” And I was like, “Yeah, of course you are, and I’m also…Stephen Hawking, but I just recovered from my fucking Palsy.” And she said something, and I was like, “Alright, I guess she’s legit.” And so my buddy, Slingblade, he’s not a Quantum Physicist, but he reads a shitload. It’s crazy how much he reads. He actually knows a lot about Quantum Computing, and he started arguing with her that Quantum Computing, like, contradicted String Theory or something, right? And he is not, like, Neil deGrasse Tyson, but he’s a really smart dude, and after about thirty minutes, I seriously thought she was gonna fuck him in the bathroom. She, like…before, it’s like she didn’t hate him, but he was just some doofus at the bar. “Oh, it’s another fucking frat guy at the bar with cargo shorts on,” or whatever, right? I mean, I thought she was gonna fuck him in the bathroom. She could not have been more turned on by him. And this girl was hot. This is, like, the type of girl, like, if I met today, I would try and marry. And she was way too smart. Wanted no part of me. I’ll never forget that. That was, like, one of those things where I was like, “Goddamn.” I mean, I thought I was smart, but, like…whoo.

Geoff:
Yeah. Well, this is like the story of my grad school dating career, is grad school’s full of women who enjoy intellectual sparring, and just like a female athlete might find it fun to wrestle with you, kind of to assess your strength and skills, smart women find it kind of fun to argue with you—

Tucker:
Or at least discuss shit.

Geoff:
At least discuss, but if you can…or even if you can just ask intelligent questions about what they do in a way that most guys don’t know enough to do and don’t care enough to do. That’s perfect.

Tucker:
Which actually brings up a great point. This is a little off-topic. Most guys are very intimidated by intelligent women. Most guys, if they don’t think they’re at least as smart if not smarter than the woman, it’s very difficult, which is why in my experience, I have always been way more successful with smart women than dumb women. Because dumb women respond to – this is broadly speaking. It’s a stereotype, but it’s mostly true. Dumb women will respond to non-verbal indicators of attraction. You know, body size, body shape, your clothes, your car, things like that. Smart women look at those status indicators as down-market, as very low status, and respond to intelligence, conversational skills, that sort of stuff. So, here’s the thing. If you’re a smart guy, you can do really well with women. You just need to find smart women and then engage them either on the topics they’re smart about or you’re smart about. You don’t have to be smart on the same things. Should we talk about the other forms of intelligence? Social intelligence, emotional intelligence, things like that?

Geoff:
Yeah. There’s a whole bunch of misconceptions about intelligence that we should probably cover just to…clear the air.

Tucker:
Let’s cover the misconceptions, yeah. What are the things that everyone gets wrong about intelligence? They think it’s fixed, which we’ve already kind of talked about. It’s not fixed. It’s very highly heritable, but you can definitely learn a lot more and at least appear a lot more intelligent, if not be more intelligent, right? Okay. So, it’s definitely not fixed. You’re not born with your intelligence and that’s it. What else?

Geoff:
It’s a bell curve, right? So, it’s not like you’re either smart or you’re not smart, most people are in the middle. It’s a normal distribution bell curve. The implication of that is if you’re in the middle, there are an awful lot of women out there who are similar in intelligence to you, and because people do what’s called assortative mating, they tend to kind of IQ match on who they mate with, if you’re in the middle, it’s kind of a blessing ‘cause there’s a lot of potential women who will kind of get you. The women who are at the upper end of intelligence—

Tucker:
They’re screwed.

Geoff:
They’re kind of screwed. There’s so few men who can match them or genuinely impress them that if you seek them out, they will appreciate it so much. If you even make little effort to just appreciate that that’s a cool trait they have. If you’re at the lower end, you’re not listening to this podcast and you can’t read our book and I’m sorry. The second thing is—

Tucker:
We’ll draw you a picture book.

Geoff:
Yeah. We’ll do a little coloring book. Second thing is a lot of people have swallowed this kind of Howard Gardner bullshit of multiple intelligences that says everybody has their own form of genius, right? And that there is…if you’re not good at one thing, you’re bound to be really intelligent at another.

Tucker:
No. There are a lot of people who are just plain stupid.

Geoff:
No. We’ve known literally since 1904 that all the things that you can do with your brain tend to intercorrelate with each other positively, so if you’re good at spatial things, you also tend to be good at verbal things and you also tend to be good at emotional things and learning physical skills.

Tucker:
You could definitely be great at one thing. You can definitely have an outsized ability or intelligence. Usually, that comes from practice. Not always, right? But, right. It’s extremely rare to find someone who’s amazing at one thing and terrible at everything else.

Geoff:
Yeah. So, there’s, like, this stereotype that, oh, there’s all these idiot savants running around who are amazing at math but have no idea what else is going on, and that’s true.

Tucker:
Well, they’re called autistics.

Geoff:
There is some genius autistics…

Tucker:
Well, autistics are a great example of this. But that’s not really an intelligence issue. That’s…we’re actually not sure what causes autism. But that’s a specific issue.

Geoff:
But generally speaking, like, I’ve spoken at dozens of college campuses around the world, and generally speaking, if you’re at a highly selective university and you’re having dinner with the students afterwards, they know a lot about everything and if you ask them, “What do you do in your spare time?” It’s not just they have book smarts. They also have multiple physical skills. They can paint. They know three languages. They can do all sorts of stuff.

Tucker:
I think that’s another misconception, is that intelligence means book smarts. It does not. Intelligence means…explain sort of what intelligence, what that really means in a way that a young guy can connect with. The way a mechanic can connect with or a plumber, ‘cause those guys tend to be – actually, electricians are really smart. You can’t be a stupid electrician or you’re dead. Those guys are really smart!

Geoff:
Yeah, you’ll electrocute yourself.

Tucker:
Right. So, explain intelligence in a way those guys can connect with.

Geoff:
Intelligence, for example, correlates with literally how big your brain is. It correlates with how fast your nerves transfer information from one nerve cell to another. So, it’s basically how well your nervous system works. That also means it’s how well and quickly you learn, how precisely you can control your behavior. So, for example, there’s studies of, let’s say, truck drivers, right. Semi-trailer, long-haul truck drivers.

Tucker:
Right. Which in society are generally looked down as, like, lower class stupid people.

Geoff:
And as if they’re all equally stupid.

Tucker:
Right.

Geoff:
But actually, if you ask how do IQ tests among truckers predict how well they do as truckers, like how quickly they get from point A to point B without crashing or getting lost? Even in blue-collar—

Tucker:
And all the other things, by the way. You don’t know enough about trucking. I do. I grew up in Kentucky. So, how well do you maintain your truck? How well do you deal with flat tires? How well do you deal with fuel economy? How well do you deal with payload issues? How well do you deal with refueling when you’re stopping at the right places? How well do you deal with state and local regulation? There’s a lot of actual things – here’s what’s crazy. A good trucker can make over 100 grand a year, right? And if it was all stupid people or if you could be stupid and do it, then why is there such a demand and such high pay that, like, is not being met? Truckers have not just started last six months making money. Like, you can make at least 60 to 70 grand a year as a long-haul driver and upwards of over six figures, depending on what you’re shipping, how long you drive, etc. You can’t be an idiot and be good at that.

Geoff:
Yeah. Particularly in modern society. Any job that could be automated and run by a simple mechanical or computer system’s already been automated.

Tucker:
Or it’s going to be, right.

Geoff:
So, the jobs that are left are those that require some intelligence and in all those jobs, the smarter you are, the better you do. Another example, driving safety, right? The higher your IQ, the less likely you are to have a fatal or catastrophic car accident, and there’s a study in I think it was Sweden of, like, two million people on everyday life accidents, so Darwin Awards type stuff. Do you fall off a ladder? Do you electrocute yourself? Do you just fall in a pool when you’re drunk and drown? And there again, intelligence predicts that stuff not happening to you. And women instinctively kind of understand this. “Oh, he’s a smart guy. He’s arguing with me about Quantum Computing,” but that carries reliable information.

Tucker:
You can’t fake that.

Geoff:
He’s also likely to be a better-than-average driver. A better-than-average electrician. Everything else, right?

Tucker:
Right. So, listen, if you’re a guy out there who’s not academic, not in school, and you’ve been told because of this you’re stupid or not intelligent, fuck those people who told you that. They’re fucking wrong. There are so many really, really smart men and women who are not in academic book smart type jobs, and you’re probably smarter than a lot of them are. I mean, I know a ton of lawyers and a ton of people in finance who I wouldn’t literally trust to get their piss in the toilet. The same sort of thing. They have the cognitively intense job, but they only know how to do one thing and they’re not even fucking half good at it. And it’s like, “Oh, well, I’m a lawyer, so I’m smart.” No. What you are is a sheep. But that’s a different discussion.

Geoff:
I mean, on that point about long-haul truck driving vs. lawyer, a lot of American guys think, “Oh, the only way to display my intelligence is through some high status professional job that is associated with intelligence.” Bad news, guys. A lot of those jobs now are highly competitive and it’s not that easy to get a job, for example, as a lawyer.

Tucker:
Right, but they’re actually being eaten by software. The computers are taking those jobs. Finance as a profession is not going to exist in five years unless you are, like, George Soros, running your own – it’s gonna be the fucking super geniuses at the top, the low level human interaction administrative people are the bottom, and all the middle shit’s gonna be gone. Gone. You can automate all that shit with software. It’s way better than people. Those motherfuckers will all be out of a job and they’re gonna have to learn how to drive trucks and shit. Which, by the way, truck driving might actually be out, also, because of driverless cars.

Geoff:
Yeah.

Tucker:
Alright, so, anyway, let’s not get to signaling displays. That’s gonna be the next podcast, and that’s a good one. We’re gonna talk a lot about that, because it’s really important. Being intelligent doesn’t matter if you can’t display it, and if you can display your intelligence – even if you only have a little – that can work really well. Let’s talk about…

Geoff:
One more misconception.

Tucker:
Please.

Geoff:
Okay. Another misconception, and some guys have this and some guys don’t, the best data shows the average IQ is equal for men and women. Now, if you’re a sexist, patronizing guy who loves to mansplain things to women, you’ll think, “Oh, no. The average guy is smarter than the average woman.” No. I’ve worked in intelligence research a long time. On the best IQ tests, the averages end up equal. Now, males show more variation. There’s more male idiots and more male geniuses at the extremes, but—

Tucker:
I mean, our bell curve is flatter.

Geoff:
Yeah. The bell curve’s flatter for men, and thicker tails. But most of the folks you meet, the women are on average just as bright as guys. Now, they have different strengths and weaknesses. Women are a little more verbally fluent, which is why you often feel like they can argue circles around you while you just stand there like a stump, not knowing what to say. Guys are a little stronger on, like, spatial navigation and imagining three-dimensional shapes rotating, whatever…

Tucker:
Mechanical intelligence…

Geoff:
Yeah. But for a lot of things, the sexes are pretty equal. And that’s important, because it just reframes the way you think about what you should look for in a girlfriend and what you can offer. And bear in mind, also guys are not very choosey about a woman’s intelligence if you’re just looking for a one night stand. Right? But when guys get into, “Who do I move in with? Who do I marry?” I’ve got data showing guys actually get more selective, a little bit, about a woman’s intelligence, than women are about a man’s intelligence.

Tucker:
Yeah, well, because we’ve talked about this. Women compete for commitment. Men compete for sex.

Geoff:
Yeah. So, even if you’re the guy who thinks, “Oh, I don’t care about me being smart or my girlfriend being smart,” you might not now, but probably in ten years if you’re thinking about settling down, it’s gonna matter a lot to you whether your future wife is smart enough to manage the family finances rather than go bankrupt, remember to pick up the kids from the doctor, not get in car crashes, be able to learn a new culture if you move to a new city, stuff like that.

Tucker:
I mean, I can tell you as a dude who’s in this space, like, my girlfriend’s really smart and I couldn’t imagine dating a girl who’s not really smart. I’m just gonna tell you guys, I can absolutely imagine fucking a bunch of girls who are idiots. That’s fine. Right? Or fucking smart girls, whatever. If you’re just short-, medium-term relationships, I’m not gonna say it doesn’t matter. Generally speaking, the smarter the girl is, the more in line with your intelligence she is, the more fun you’re gonna have with her, even sexually. But in terms of long-term relationships, I couldn’t imagine dating a girl who’s not wickedly, wickedly smart and wickedly capable because otherwise, it’s like…I don’t know. If you ever worked with a coworker who’s, like, just not as smart as you and you feel like you’re pulling their weight all the time, it’s ten times worse in a relationship. It’s way worse, ‘cause you have that emotional connection and attachment and it’s like, my god. Which doesn’t mean you have to marry a genius. It just means, like, if the woman’s not close to you in intelligence, you’re probably not gonna be satisfied.

Geoff:
And you can’t even imagine, as Tucker alluded to, how many different domains of life this matters. Like, I had the good sense, you know, my ex-wife’s one of the smartest women I’ve ever met, right? And we had our little emotional issues, whatever. But back when I was age twenty-nine, trying to figure out whether to kind of commit to her, I had no idea how many different ways her kind of brilliance would give me advantages and give us advantages as a couple and also do little things like okay, now my daughter’s gotten into Oxford. Right? So, that’s another little half-genetic, half-parenting blessing. So, pay attention. You know, if you find a woman boring after a while, that’s a valid response. That’s kind of the way your brain is helping you choose a brighter mate.

Tucker:
Right.

Geoff:
But bear in mind, women are doing the same thing.

Tucker:
Exactly. So, let’s sum up really quick. Intelligence is one of the most, if not the most important attractors for girls. If you are dumb, you are going to have a lot of problems getting girls. If you are smart, it makes it way easier. So, that’s why…This is not an obscure sort of moralizing lesson. This translates to vaginal access, to be as clear as day about it. Now, most of what your intelligence is, is inherited, so you’re gonna be about as smart as your parents, give or take. It’s not set in stone, though, and you can absolutely…If you can’t necessarily change your brain chemistry or genetics, you can be far more knowledgeable about the world and know more. And our point is not ever, oh, you have to learn something specific. Women, for the most part, don’t care what you’re smart about. They just want to see you smart at something. Something that matters, obviously, like I said, video games don’t count as being smart. There are…who knows, a thousand girls on earth who think guys who are good at video games are sexy. Okay, great. If you wanna fuck one of those girls, feel free to be great at video games. But for the most part, it doesn’t matter. Now, if you wanna say, “Because I got good at video games, I learned a bunch of other things that matter,” okay, that’s fine. No problem. Like, I know dudes who played Rome Total War for decades and now they’re, like, they understand strategy and they can go to a battlefield and tell you exactly how people were lining up. That’s great. You translated it into a real skill. The point is, whatever it is you like, whatever it is you enjoy, learn it. Understand it. Be knowledgeable enough about it to teach it to someone who doesn’t know anything about it who might be interested. If you can do that, that’s a fantastic way to not only be smarter and more effective at life, which is always gonna be good for you, but also to use your intelligence to sort of attract women. That’s the main focus of the next podcast, is how do you signal intelligence, how you display intelligence, what do credentials matter, and sort of how intelligence interacts with sort of social norms in society. But understand, being smart really matters to getting laid. Correct?

Geoff:
Absolutely.

Tucker:
I mean, I’m being crass about it, but that’s sort of the rawest, most direct way to say it, is that it really matters. It matters a lot. You can change it.

Geoff:
But yeah, there’s this new term. Sapiosexual, one who is sexually attracted to wisdom or intelligence, and women are more sexually turned on by intelligence than most of you can imagine, and it’s one of the main things they complain about, is guys who either have no brains or have some brains and even worse, squander them.

Tucker:
Yep.

Geoff:
Right. So, whatever you’re doing at work, ask yourself, “What more could I be learning that would be cool to talk about with women?” Whatever you’re doing in your leisure time, ask yourself, “Am I really learning anything here that is either building a demonstrable skill or kind of a teachable, conversable bit of wisdom or insight?” And don’t delude yourself that watching a bunch of action movies and sitcoms and playing your video games is doing that.

Tucker:
Actually, watching sitcoms might be good if you can learn to be funny from them. ‘Cause humor, like we’ve talked about – we didn’t talk about it in this podcast, we talked about it in previous ones – humor’s a very honest signal of intelligence. So, being funny always helps. There’s nothing wrong with watching those things, but if that’s all you do, if that’s your life, you better have a lot of other shit going for you or women are not gonna give a fuck about you. They’re not gonna be attracted to you, ‘cause you’re not bringing anything to the table. I’ll tell you what, man. Listening to these podcasts and reading our books and reading the website are more than enough, actually. I mean, it’s not the only thing you should do, but if you really wanna learn about this stuff, that’s the difference. Like, could you imagine a guy talking about pick up artist shit to a fucking girl? She wouldn’t think you were intelligent. She would think you’re a creepy fucking weirdo and she would hate you. But if you go in and talk about intelligence and heritability of intelligence and evolutionary history of why women are attracted to intelligence, that’s actually displaying your intelligence. Right?

Geoff:
Yeah. So, the stuff you’re learning from us is golden. Women love talking about mating, and some of the best dates I’ve had have been with women who, even if they clearly weren’t interested in me, we still had a good time talking about the stuff that I know about, which is sexual evolution and male/female dynamics.

Tucker:
Oh, yes. There’s no woman on earth who doesn’t like talking about guys and men and why she can’t get men, why she’s not attracted to this man or why she’s more attracted to that guy, whatever. I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t wanna talk about that. Ever. And I’ll just end on this note. Look, I’ve been with a lot of girls in my life and I’m telling you, the fact that I’m smart is probably responsible for…taking, like, fame aside, right? ‘Cause being famous sort of changes everything. Taking that aside, anywhere from one half to 80% of the girls that I’ve been with, I’ve been with because I’m smart. It might be weird to say. Reading my books, you maybe don’t pick that up. It’s all there, though. I promise. If I wasn’t smart, I’d be…I don’t know, sleeping with a lot less women.

Geoff:
That’s absolutely what I got. I didn’t read your books till a couple years ago, but all throughout, I thought, “Tucker can only get away with this because he’s smart and witty and funny,” and my little cousins who are, like, reading this book as a role model for how to behave, like, “Oh, if I get really Tucker Max drunk, then I’ll get—“ No. Tucker attracted the women in spite of that behavior because he’s brilliant at talking.

Tucker:
Let’s actually talk about that for a second. Let’s end on that discussion, because I wanna talk about this all the time and guys never understand it. You would not believe – you probably would, but you would not believe how many guys are like, “I don’t understand. I fucking go out. I get real drunk. I scream curses at people. Girls don’t think I’m attractive. I think your fucking stories are bullshit. What are you doing different?” I’m like, you fucking moron. There’s nothing in my books that indicates that getting drunk and yelling curses at people is what got me laid! You’re so stupid. In fact, if anything, I get laid in spite of that, right? Or, what I do is I’m so funny, even though I violate a bunch of social norms and do all – whatever, I’m still funny. It’s almost a counter-signal. We had that episode about signaling. We should probably do a whole separate episode about counter-signaling ‘cause we didn’t talk about counter-signaling much on our episode. So, let me explain…We kind of did. Counter-signaling is one of those things where you…there’s a couple different ways to counter-signal, but essentially, you’re showing that you’re intentionally breaking a rule or signaling something that no one else would signal, but you’re so good or you’re so healthy or you’re so smart that you can pull it off, right? So, for instance, if you’re trying to go to a really nice club in LA and it’s, like, you have to dress amazing, Leonardo DiCaprio can show up in ratty t-shirt and jeans ‘cause he’s Leo, and that’s a counter-signal that I’m better than all of you. Even though the woman doesn’t know who that guy is, she’s like, “That guy is here dressed like a fucking bum. He’s either a homeless guy who wandered in off the street or he’s really important.” Right? Same thing with social norms. If you can show up at a bar and be, like, a drunken buffoon but be really funny and have people really still like you and engage you anyway, that makes you double attractive to women ‘cause it’s like, then you become the guy who is like…girls will say, “I shouldn’t like him. I don’t know why I like him. But I do.” And that’s why, because you are essentially handicapping yourself, but still doing well. That’s actually what a peacock’s tail is. It’s not showing off. It’s counter-signaling, right?

Geoff:
Well, we could have a long discussion about that, but generally, yeah. Counter-signaling is, like, “I’m conspicuously bowing out of the usual way that guys compete, ‘cause I have enough status or other traits that I can compete on a completely different level.”

Tucker:
Exactly.

Geoff:
Yeah.

Tucker:
Right. But anyway, that’s the point with intelligence. The reason I got away with all the shit I got away with that most guys can’t get away with is because they’re fucking idiots. They’re literally looking at only the surface things I’m doing and repeating those, sort of like…I don’t know, it’s like, just because you get in a car and race around a circle doesn’t make you a NASCAR driver. There’s a fucking lot more to it, right? It’s the same thing! I leave out the boring parts that aren’t interesting from my stories, and most of the boring parts are, like, really smart conversations I’m having with girls or, like, ways that I’m really fucking funny or ways that I’m really intelligently violating social norms, but in a way that’s, like…interesting or cool or whatever. Doing things that other guys can’t do ‘cause I’m smart enough to understand the system and not fake them, right? That’s why intelligence gets me laid. Now, obviously, Dr. Miller uses intelligence in a very different way than I do. He’s just way smarter than most people, so he can talk about all this crazy stuff that’s, like, really interesting and amazing. Not necessarily the way I use intelligence, although I do sometimes if I’m doing wine or going to a museum, that’s another way to do it. The point is, this is not an abstract conversation. Intelligence is not, like, it’s not about having a degree. It’s how intelligently do you operate in the world? That’s what women are attracted to. Those are the guys they wanna fuck. I can’t be any clearer about it than that.

Geoff:
Yeah. So, when you think intelligence, don’t think Ivy League braininess. Think behavioral effectiveness. Right? You can learn stuff and you know stuff and that’s interesting to women.

Tucker:
Alright. Let’s save that. We’re kind of bleeding into next week’s podcast, which is signaling, displaying intelligence, how to do credentials. That’s what next week’s podcast is. “Okay. I’m already smart. I get it, Tucker, Dr. Miller. How do I show women? How do I prove this to women?” We’re gonna do a whole podcast on that. It’s a great question and we’re gonna give you some really specific answers.

Join the Mating Grounds Mailing List

Get the voicemail number to ask us your questions directly:

SHARE THIS ARTICLE