BECOME THE MAN WOMEN WANT
22nd of December 2014

How To Be Attractive To Women, Pt. 12: Get In Shape (Physical Health)

Introduction:

Improving your physical health is one of the easiest things you can do to become more attractive to women, all it takes is some simple diet changes and a little exercise. In this episode, Tucker and Geoff explain some misconceptions about health and fitness, what type of body women find most attractive, and what you need to do to get that body.

Podcast:


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Key takeaways:

  • Improving your physical health is one of the easiest things you can do to become more attractive to women.
  • The number one misconception most guys have is that women want them to be much more muscular than women actually want them to be. When women are asked what kind of athletes they find most attractive, they typically say things like swimmers.
  • If you’re in CrossFit or Olympic swimmer shape, that’s fantastic. That’s basically optimal. But you can be two standard deviations less than that and still be in really good shape. You can have a good physical body shape, you can still be healthy, and it’s really easy to get there.
  • Being in shape influences your sexual health and performance. If you’re fat, losing weight will make your dick bigger. If you’re out of shape, you’ll have bad sexual stamina, but you can improve it by getting in shape.
  • You want to do very high-intensity, short-duration workout that preferably involves moving heavy things. So, if you have no money and no access to a gym, that means sprints and pushups and air squats.
  • If you’re very self-conscious about your body or working out, CrossFit is actually the best place to go, because everyone there is on your side.
  • Exercise is a really powerful antidepressant. It’s very powerful for your mood, for your self-confidence, the way you carry yourself, your posture, and your energy levels.
  • Exercise is very important, but diet, what you eat, is far more important. If you eat the right things all the time and are pretty strict about it, you’re not going to have a muscular body, but you’re not going to be fat.
  • Almost everything that you have been told by mainstream dieting advice and the mainstream media is the opposite of what you should be doing. You shouldn’t be eating refined sugar or grain. You should be eating vegetables, healthy fats like butter, coconut oil, animal fat, and nuts. Fruits in moderation. For things you drink, you want to limit yourself to water, sparkling water, tea, and coffee.
  • Beer raises your estrogen. If you’re going to drink, you want to drink red wine, white wine, champagne, vodka, or tequila. No grain alcohol, and nothing with sugar in it.
  • Sleep is also incredibly important. The vast majority of Americans get way less sleep than they should. Anywhere from an hour to two hours less sleep a night than they should be getting, and not sleeping makes you fatter. It makes you more depressed. It impairs your memory. It impairs your cognitive abilities. It makes you look worse. It makes your skin look worse. It makes you less sexually virile. To improve your sleep, create a bedroom that is pitch black. Turn off any electronics that have lights, get good curtains, and get a regular sleep schedule.

Links from this episode

Podcast Audio Transcription:

Tucker:
Alright, so, this podcast is about your body. Physical health, your fitness, physical skills, things like that. It’s kind of funny. This is one of those things that everyone realizes in the abstract is important, but I’ll talk to guys and they’ll be like, “Yeah, I’m in good shape. I eat well.” Then I’ll, like, actually meet them and I’m like, okay, you’re forty pounds overweight and then they describe what they eat, and I’m like, “So, you think McDonald’s and Jack in the Box twice a week and only half a can of ice cream every night is eating well? And that’s why you’re forty pounds overweight, by the way.” So, most people’s idea of health and fitness is…they lie to themselves, of course, because it’s a lot of work to get into shape, etc. Here’s the thing. We’re going to spend this podcast telling you exactly what body shapes and fitness levels and health levels are important. They’re actually not as hard to get as you think.

Geoff:
Yeah. This is some of the easiest stuff that guys can fix in terms of increasing their attractiveness that you’ll hear about on this podcast.

Tucker:
And here’s the thing. You’ll see incredible ROI from this. Right? Your rate of return is going to be incredible. Going from forty pounds overweight to being fit is almost like putting on two inches of height, tripling your salary, going from a Hyundai to a BMW, however you want to scale that in terms of other things. It has a huge impact on your dating life and your attractiveness to women. It’s basically free, and it’s very easy to do, so do not skip over this or think it’s whatever. It really is the foundation upon which almost all the other attractiveness stuff is based on. Here’s the thing. The only people who can be fat, out of shape pieces of shit and still do really well with women are guys who are famous, guys who are really rich – and even then, you’re only going to get a certain type of girl if you’re really rich – or guys who have amazing personalities. That means you have incredible charisma, you’re incredibly funny, and generally, you have to pair that with high status as well. So, you have great charisma and you’re very high status or you’re famous or – when I say rich, I mean very rich, I mean like…ten, twenty, thirty million plus. Correct?

Geoff:
Yeah. You have to be Louis C.K., super funny; or Jonah Hill, super famous actor; or Carlos Slim Helu, richest guy in America, Mexican multi-billionaire.

Tucker:
Well, he’s actually a rich guy in Mexico.

Geoff:
Or, one or two in the world.

Tucker:
He doesn’t live in America.

Geoff:
Yeah.

Tucker:
Right. Exactly. But, point is, he’s kind of fat, out of shape, old piece of shit, but he’s worth 60 billion dollars. So, you give him a little bit of a pass on that. At least, he can get some girls, enough girls, obviously. Okay, so let’s actually start talking about this with misconceptions, because I think most guys immediately, when you start talking about, you need to get in shape, they’re like, ”Aw, man.” And the immediate thing they jump to is, “It’s so hard to go from where I am to a body builder,” or something ridiculous like that. So, why don’t you talk about some of the studies, actually, about what does the evidence indicate that females prefer in men? What body types do women prefer?

Geoff:
Well, the number one misconception most guys have is that women want them to be much more muscular than women actually want them to be. So, a lot of men’s magazines will feature really steroided-up guys who are ripped and…you know, very low body fat, huge muscles. Women don’t want that. All the studies of what women want say yeah, some upper body muscle is great, it’s what distinguishes guys from girls. What really attracts women is just kind of slim, capable…the guy could sprint 50 meters if it was zombie apocalypse, right? Most guys literally could not sprint 50 meters. Having a V-shape, a high ratio of shoulder width to waist width. The easiest way to do that is just a little bit of resistance exercise, lift heavy a little bit and lose a lot of your gut fat. If you do that, you’ll probably have a body that’s pretty attractive to most women.

Tucker:
So, if we’re mapping this onto athletes, what kind of athletes should we think about? So, that means not body builders. Not football players. Who are we thinking about more?

Geoff:
When women are asked what kind of athletes do you find most attractive, they typically say things like swimmers…

Tucker:
So, think about, like, Michael Phelps.

Geoff:
Yeah. Michael Phelps. Tall, amazing V, not super low body fat ‘cause you need a little body fat to swim and stay warm in the water.

Tucker:
Yeah. And buoyant. Who’s the other one? Ryan, the real dumb one.

Geoff:
Ryan Dochte.

Tucker:
Yeah. The real dumb one. Exactly.

Geoff:
Yeah. These are not genius guys, but a lot of women are like, “I would climb that tree.”

Tucker:
Their bodies are amazing. Right. Exactly.

Geoff:
CrossFit guys, because they’re capable. They can do stuff. They can move effectively. They can lift and sprint and…versatile bodies that could hunt, fight, have sex, protect babies, all that. Third thing with the World Cup recently, a lot of women are saying, “Wow, soccer bodies are really cool.” Soccer playing guys are pretty slim, but they’re in amazing shape ‘cause they run an average of seven miles a game. Not a lot of body fat.

Tucker:
By the way, it’s mostly sprinting. It’s sprint-stop-sprint-stop. It’s not seven miles of distance running. Which we’ll get into a little bit more later on in the podcast about types of exercise, but yeah. Here’s the thing. When I think of a swimmer, I think big, broad shoulders, small waist. They’ve got almost a perfect V. CrossFit guys I think of, they’re almost exactly like swimmers. They just have a little bit more muscle on top, and their waists are a little bit bigger because they’re not as ripped as swimmers are. They’re very, usually, pretty ripped, but they’re more sort of like, okay, this guy got big lifting weights, this guy got big swimming, you can see the difference. But they’re very similar. It’s almost the same shape. Just a little bit different. It’s funny, ‘cause when I think of soccer players, I think of kind of skinny dudes. And they are. Of course, I’m a dude, I’m looking and I’m like, “That guy can’t bench press 140 pounds,” or something. I’m looking at midfielders for America, like Clint Dempsey and the other one, Michael whatever, the two good ones, and I’m like…they’re obviously good athletes, no doubt, but look at them. That guy can’t do fifty pushups. There’s no fucking way. But, if you actually look at their – they’ve got tiny waists – they’re 31, 32 waists. So, the ratio actually works out for them.

Geoff:
And it’s a sport where you’re literally not allowed to use your hands unless you’re a goalie, so…

Tucker:
So, it’s stupid for them to have a lot of upper body muscle.

Geoff:
Right. It’s just excess weight to carry around. But, notably, women do like muscular legs.

Tucker:
Soccer players have great legs.

Geoff:
A lot of guys work a lot on their upper body muscles and kind of forget leg day. Right.

Tucker:
Right, so…it’s weird. I hear a lot of women talk about calves on dudes. So, soccer players have amazing calves, obviously, and thighs, ‘cause that’s what they do, is run around and kick, etc. But, even the ones who are skinny. If you actually look at them, they have the right ratio because their waists are so small. So, absolute size is far less important than ratio, until you get either below a certain point where they’re starting to look like concentration camp victims and awful skinny or above a certain point and it’s like, oh, my god, this behemoth of a man is either a body builder…So, what are the negative things that body builder, football player type excess musclulature signal to women?

Geoff:
Well, one problem is most of our male ancestors didn’t look like that, ‘cause you can’t be a good endurance hunter, tracking down game, carrying around that much excess muscle.

Tucker:
It’s just hard to get that much protein in your body!

Geoff:
Yeah. They didn’t eat enough meat…

Tucker:
We essentially have to hack the world to get that. Hack the…Only advanced technology allows us to have such muscular hypotrophy.

Geoff:
Yeah. They didn’t have protein powders and creatine and all of that GNC stuff.

Tucker:
Forget GNC stuff. Also, steroids. Right. Also. Of course.

Geoff:
So, what the women are looking for is basically the male body that corresponds to being able to do things effectively in the world, including hunting, fighting, protecting, living a long time. If you’re the father of her kids, that’s important.

Tucker:
Again…We’ve said this before, we’ll say this again. This is all unconscious. No woman’s looking at a male and saying, “Is he a good hunter?” I mean, unless she’s some weird Arkansas trashy redneck or something. Then, being a good hunter will actually help you. But, this is unconscious, it’s that a good body indicates all these things to sort of signal them to her mammalian brain, which makes her attracted to you. I’m talking more about, and I know you know the research I’m talking about, women who will see guys who are in either incredible, ridiculous male model, shredded cover of magazine shape or guys who are hugely muscular, like either football player muscular or body builder muscular, right? And the immediate thing is that they’ll think they are…they can be attractive, no doubt, but that they’re less committed to their partners, they tend to be more violent and aggressive – I’m not even talking about the guys. I’m talking about what women think about those guys, right?

Geoff:
Yeah, absolutely. This is the thing. Your body sends off so many signals about so many different aspects of yourself. It’s a signal of your good or bad genes, right? What does your body tend to be like? It’ll tend to be kind of like the average shape that your male relatives are in. But, on top of that genetic level, there’s your health, which is, in modern society, mostly determined by your behavior, your conscientiousness, your willpower, your discipline, how you eat, how you exercise, what you do. Here’s where things get complicated. Women want you to eat well and exercise, but if you go overboard, if you’re absolutely a gym-rat and you’re overcommitted to…you’re obsessed with it, women can sense that. I’ve had women on dates say, “I had to break up with him even over the first dinner date ‘cause he was clearly always going to be more committed to the gym than to me.” It’s a sign of narcissism. Self-indulgence. Even a little bit of lack of confidence, what is he overcompensating for?

Tucker:
Insecurity, right.

Geoff:
Right. Sexual insecurity. They assume muscles that big? How big is his penis?

Tucker:
Right. What’s he hiding?

Geoff:
Or what weird personality disorder does he have? So, there’s diminishing marginal returns. It’s good to be in good shape. Being in extremely great shape is actually a turn-off.

Tucker:
Right. It’s a U-shaped sort of thing. If you’re in bad shape, that’s the worst. And if you’re an outsized outlier with massive muscles, that’s actually not good, either. You want to be in the middle. You want to be in good, solid shape. If you’re in CrossFit, Olympic swimmer shape, that’s fantastic. That’s basically optimal. But you can be two standard deviations less than that and still be in really good shape. You can have a good physical body shape, you can still be healthy, etc., and it’s really easy to get there. It’s not hard at all. Not that I have the ideal body that we’re talking about, ‘cause I don’t, but I’m probably a standard deviation or so off of Olympic swimmer, CrossFit competitor body shape, right? I’m in pretty good shape, I do CrossFit. I basically work out three times a week, an hour each time, and that’s it. I don’t really do that much stuff. I’m more like CrossFit body. You’ve got more swimmer body. What do you work out, three times a week?

Geoff:
On a good week. Yeah. I mean, for me, I’ve realized that what I eat is 80% of my body shape, at my age. So, I just do a little bit of bodyweight exercises, like pushups and dips and pull-ups and a little bit of kettle bells. I’ve got kettle bells around. Here in Austin, I’m swimming every day. It is so easy to be in much better shape than the average American guy.

Tucker:
Right.

Geoff:
And this is all a numbers game. It’s all relative to your rivals. Women are used to seeing twenty-year-old American guys who are already really doughy. Really fat. You can be better than that so easily.

Tucker:
Right. So, let’s talk about one more thing before we get into diet. About physical health. I think this is actually probably the most important thing. Being in shape, having a good, physical shape, having good musculature, looking obese…I know it signals one thing that is very important. It not just signals this; it also changes this in your body, is your sexual health and sexual performance. Correct?

Geoff:
Yeah.

Tucker:
So, what’s the impact? This is one of those things that people don’t like to admit to or be honest about, but even the basic thing. Fat dudes have smaller dicks because they’re fat. It’s true. I didn’t actually realize this until a couple years ago, whatever. I read something about losing weight will make your dick bigger, and I’m like, “Well, that doesn’t make any sense. How does that make sense? How does that work?” The way they explained it was if you’re really obese, adipose…you have to store it somewhere, and you store it in your hip area and it essentially takes up the space…it kind of crowds around your dick. At the very least, it makes it look smaller, if not actually smaller, because it’s essentially crowding your penis. This is crazy, right? It’s not like I’m some pro-athlete, but I’ve always been in good enough shape where losing weight’s not going to make my dick bigger. This is fucking true. I actually went online and found fat guy porn where it’s, like, I guess…you can find almost any fetish, right? But there’s, like, dudes who are super fat who have these tiny, little dicks. It’s not because they have tiny dicks. Their dicks are probably the same as mine. These guys are, like, 400 pounds, whatever, right? I kind of wish I could remember the name of it. It was some funny name, like Fat Guy Getting Head or something goofy…it was better than that. It was like…basically these dudes who were hugely fat, and you could tell. It was, like, oh my god. Like…that’s sort of the outsized example, right? But the point is not a small one. That not only is not being in shape drastically negatively impact your sexual health and performance, but being in shape substantially improves it. It improves your stamina. I’m talking about sexual stamina, sexual endurance, sexual performance. It increases your testosterone, which makes you better in bed, makes you more virile, makes you want more sex. All this sort of stuff, I think a lot of guys don’t make the connection between being able to do a lot of pushups and sprint fast and fucking. But they’re connected, correct?

Geoff:
Yeah. So, women are interpreting your body not just in terms of good genes and good partner and good potential dad in the future, all unconsciously, but also how good is he going to be in bed? Tucker mentioned, we store fat in our abdomens, but also the pubic fat pad right above the penis. It’s almost like strapping a little pillow above your dick if you’ve got excess fat. It won’t reach as deep into a woman’s vagina and stimulate her as much. But there’s a huge effect of that abdominal fat on your whole hormonal system.

Tucker:
Huge.

Geoff:
Right. The more gut fat you have, typically the lower your testosterone, the less libido you have, and the less…

Tucker:
Literally the less endurance you have.

Geoff:
The less sexual endurance, the longer it’ll take to recover after you cum. And women kind of instinctively know that, oh, that guy with the great six pack or where you can see his hipbones, that’s hot to women partly because it kind of portends, oh, if we had sex, it would be awesome. He would be vigorous and he would recover quickly and he would be up for it again in three hours.

Tucker:
Generally speaking. Listen, there’s plenty of dudes who have great bodies who have performance issues, but all things being equal, the more overweight you are, the harder it is to be good in bed. So, let’s talk now about nutrition. I think you nailed it. When this podcast comes out, it’s obviously going to have…there’s going to be an associated page with it on TheMatingGrounds.com. You can go to it. We have a bunch of protocols for working out. Here’s the basic thing. So, if a guy’s listening to this like, “Alright. I’m forty pounds overweight. I want to get in shape. What do I do?” Right? Here’s the basic principle that you need to understand. You don’t need to spend a lot of time at a gym. In fact, you don’t even have to go to a gym. Gyms make it easier for certain things, but you don’t have to. You want to do very high-intensity, short-duration workout that preferably involves moving heavy things. So, if you have no money and no access to a gym, that means sprints and pushups and maybe air squats. Like, sprints, pushups, air squats, you are going to be in great shape. Now, here’s the important key to this, is intensity. I don’t mean jog to the corner. I mean motherfucking sprint like you’re being fucking chased, someone’s fucking trying to take your wallet or some shit and you’re running from this motherfucker with a knife, right?

Geoff:
Yeah. There’s zombies and sabertooth cats…

Tucker:
Right. Except neither of those exist, dumbass. We’re talking about a dude with a knife. That motherfucker exists, and he’s trying to take your wallet. Run from that motherfucker, right?

Geoff:
I was trying to make things vivid, Tucker.

Tucker:
To me, a dude with a knife is far more vivid than a zombie! You don’t have to sprint from a zombie. That’s the whole point of that awesome movie. What was the one that the English guys did? Um…Shaun of the Dead. It was like, “Oh, I can just kill this dude with a shovel.” They walk all slow. Fuck those dudes.

Geoff:
I was thinking of the Will Smith zombie movie where they move freaky fast, so we have a different background.

Tucker:
See, I watch funny movies. You watch Will Smith movies. Who’s the expert now? Alright, so, point is intensity. If you can only do ten pushups from your knees, that’s fine. Do ten pushups from your knees, and tomorrow do fifteen from your knees, and then do twenty from your knees, and then you should be able to do five that aren’t on your knees, and then do six, and seven, and eight, and eventually…Herschel Walker is one of the great athletes in American history. A great football player. He did pushups and sit-ups and sprints. Now, none of us are Herschel Walker, but if…you’re not trying to play in the NFL. You’re just trying to be in shape. It’s pretty simple.

Geoff:
You can do this stuff in literally about three or four minutes before your morning shower. Just do as many pushups as you can, as many squats as you can, and then have your little shower. If you just do that, it’ll help a lot.

Tucker:
Immensely. Immensely, especially if you’re doing nothing. So, if you have access to a gym, we have the exercise posted. It’s on The Mating Grounds. Basically, bench press, squats, deadlifts, overhead press, pull-ups. Those five things. You do those, and there’s a way to do them. You want to keep your reps 4-6, relatively heavy weight. You’re always going up and you cycle them. We write about this in the testosterone e-book, because a big part of it’s working out. Or, a great thing, there’s 5×5 Strong lifts. Go to these websites. Strong lifts, I think, is a big one. They have great programs. Almost any of them. Mark Rippetoe’s programs…I forget what they’re called. They’re fantastic. I’ll post all this stuff on TheMatingGrounds.com, the page for this podcast. All of them work. Don’t fucking spend three months trying to figure out the right way to workout. Fucking move your butt. Bench press, squat, deadlifts, sprints, pushups, whatever. Now, if you don’t want to think about any of this stuff and you can afford about $100 a month to work out, do CrossFit. The other thing. If you want to work out at home, kettle bells are amazing. Literally, it seems stupid, but doing kettle bell pulls. All this stuff will be on the site, or just go to YouTube and Google “proper kettle bell swing form.” You’ll see these videos. This weirdo is just swinging this fucking iron ball. You’re like, ‘There’s no way this is going to get me in shape.” You’re wrong. Russian Special Forces, for decades, used kettle bells only and bodyweight exercises and no one fucked with them. They were in fantastic, amazing shape. Not only that, but a bunch of Eastern European athletes back pre-Cold War…Kettle bells and steroids. Those were the big things that they used for exercise, and they worked amazingly.

Geoff:
And kettle bell swings are particularly good at working muscle groups that women really pay attention to. They give you great butt, and women care about your butt. They like a little, compact, muscular male butt. It’s weird to think about, but they do.

Tucker:
It’s true.

Geoff:
And it works your shoulders and your thighs.

Tucker:
Yup. Your core. It’s actually better for your core than sit-ups. The other thing I would recommend is CrossFit. There’s two reasons. First off, listen. Here’s the big thing with CrossFit. It’s not a cult. There’s people who just get excited about it. Just make sure you go to a good gym, ‘cause it’s pretty easy to get certified for CrossFit, to open a gym. So, read reviews online on the various gyms around you, make sure the coaches know their stuff. Most of them do. I’d say it’s about 80% that are solid and 20% are not. Just go to Yelp. Go to various CrossFit sites. Do a little bit of research. You’ll find a good one close to you pretty easily. What’s great about CrossFit is two things. One is that you work out with ten to fifteen of the same people every day at the same time. Not every day. Three times a weekish. Two to four times a week. I recommend three times a week. And it’ll be the same people, so you make progress. Everyone makes progress together. You cheer each other on. It’s a very supportive environment. So, if you’re very self-conscious about your body or working out, CrossFit is actually the best place to go, because everyone there is on your side. We’re all on the same side. Let’s get in better shape. Let’s have fun together. Let’s work out. Some of it is misery, but you share in the misery, so it’s kind of awesome. Now, here’s the flipside of that. This is a podcast about how to do better with women. You know who does a lot of CrossFit? Girls. Do you know what those girls are? Really fucking hot, ‘cause they’re in shape. It’s actually one of the sort of unspoken taglines or mottos of CrossFit, is “turning sevens into tens.” They fucking do. My girlfriend was in regionals. She’s a big CrossFit competitor. She was in regionals last year, and I didn’t go last year, but we went this year to watch. I couldn’t believe how many hot girls were there. Like, I know this. I work out. I do CrossFit. There’s tons of hot girls all over the place. That’s how I met my girlfriend. I was at regionals, this is Southwest in San Antonio, and there were probably three- to five-thousand people watching, and I’m not even talking about just the competitors. I’m talking about the fucking people in the stands. Astoundingly hot. You know what’s crazy? I talked about this with my girlfriend. There were so many babies there. So many people had kids, and she’s in the health and medical fields. She’s like, “I guarantee you this is because these people work out, they have great hormone balances, they’re in shape, they’re more virile.” No joke.

Geoff:
Better sperm. Better ovulation. Yeah. Just like most American guys don’t work out and get in very good shape, most American women don’t, either. So, even women who kind of think they’re hot typically hardly have any muscle. They’re kind of doughy, and if you’ve been with a woman who’s actually in shape and muscular, it’s kind of hard to go back to a woman who isn’t.

Tucker:
It is. It’s actually pretty sexy. Listen, so Geoff doesn’t mean, like, female body builders or anything like that. Most female CrossFitters just look like really hot, in shape women. Not, like, crazy muscular dudes. They don’t look like that. You can even watch the CrossFit Games on ESPN. These are the most in-shape women in the world, and aside from two or three of them, they’re still really fucking sexy. The woman who wins almost every year, Annie Thorisdottir, she’s Icelandic and I would fuck the dog shit out of her. Like, every day. She is hot. And granted, she’s pretty muscular, but she’s not more muscular than me. Like, my deadlift is about in line with hers. She’s really strong. Listen, she’d probably beat me in quite a few CrossFit exercises, especially because men and women use scaled weights, but we’re pretty close in strength, and man. To me, ‘cause she is also very pretty, and she’s really muscular for a woman, and even her. She’s within the bounds of, alright, she’s muscular, but she’s still really hot. She’s not one of these freak weirdo body builders, like, what do I do with that? You know? Those aren’t humans anymore.

Geoff:
So, to bring Tucker back down to earth after his Icelandic sexual fantasy. The point is, she still looks like a woman.

Tucker:
Yes.

Geoff:
Right. Not like a freak.

Tucker:
Right. Exactly. Alright, so that’s what you do if you want to get in shape. It’s very simple, very easy, and you kind of have no excuse. And it’s going to help you, by the way. Good exercise. What other benefits? Just aside from female attraction?

Geoff:
It’s a really powerful antidepressant. Right? If you do head-to-head controlled studies of, like, Prozac or any other antidepressant medicine, exercise works better.

Tucker:
Way better!

Geoff:
If you’re depressed, honestly, best thing to do is get outside and walk around for half an hour a day and do these body weight things.

Tucker:
Pushups and sprints in the sun.

Geoff:
And you will feel better within a month. It’s very powerful for your mood, for your self-confidence, the way you carry yourself, your posture, your energy levels. It makes you more exciting in bed to women, and they kind of know that unconsciously. It also means…

Tucker:
What about, like, brain function? Not just happier, but you’re sharper. Things like that, you know?

Geoff:
Yeah. For example, okay. I used to have a mid-afternoon energy crash when I used to eat carbs. I would need my cereal at breakfast, and if I didn’t get it at breakfast, I’d be really grumpy. Okay, have the cereal. Have some pasta or rice at lunch. And then, by 3 PM, I couldn’t think. If I had to teach a class, write a paper, whatever. I couldn’t think, needed more coffee, needed something else. Always grumpy by the time I got home. I cut out the carbs, immediately that just went away.

Tucker:
So, let’s take that into nutrition, then. You said this earlier and you’re right. 80% of your health, your body shape, everything is actually not – exercise is very important, but diet, what you eat, is far more important. If you eat the right things all the time and are pretty strict about it, you’re not going to have a muscular body, but you’re not going to be fat. You’re going to be basically in shape, you know? You’re not going to look good next to a guy who does even basic workouts, but you’re going to be way better than any dude who’s overweight. So, let’s talk a little bit about nutrition and eating.

Geoff:
Just to preface this, one important point, guys, is remember that the average molecule in your body turns over about once a year. In other words, the whole contents of your body, apart from your bones, is replaced by what you eat, on average, about once a year. So, what your body’s made of now is literally about what you were eating six months ago.

Tucker:
Right.

Geoff:
So, if you eat better in six to twelve months, literally the whole chemical composition in your body is going to chance to reflect your new diet.

Tucker:
So, let’s talk a little bit about diet. You and I are on the same page with diet stuff. Now, most people think they have an idea of what they’re supposed to eat and they’re wrong. In the last ten years, really even the last five years, there’s been a massive shift and all the research has basically shown one set of principles and it’s only now starting to leak out into the mainstream. The basic idea is to make it as simple as possible. Almost everything that you have been told by mainstream dieting advice and the mainstream media is the opposite of what you should be doing. For example, the idea that fat is bad is wrong. You should be eating a lot of fat. Fat’s very good for you. Butter, coconut oil, animal fat, very good for you. Bacon, things like that. The idea that grains and fibers are good for you is totally wrong. In fact, the worst poison that you can eat is wheat. It’s poison. All these bestselling books, you know, Grain Belly, Grain Brain or Wheat Belly, Grain Brain, they’re all true and they’re all based on a huge corpus of knowledge that is finally either come to the forefront or been done in the last five to ten years. The second worst thing you can eat is sugar. Refined sugar, especially, but pretty much any sugar is toxic poison for your body. Even 60 Minutes did a big thing about this, like, six months or a year ago. 60 Minutes is as mainstream, old person media as it gets. When 60 Minutes is telling you something, that means you should probably…it’s gone mainstream. Whether it’s right or wrong, it’s definitely gone mainstream. So, a lot of these ideas…everyone knows what gluten free is or whatever. Almost all of these ideas came out of a field of nutrition that’s loosely referred to as either paleo nutrition or ancestral health. The basic idea is that, sort of like all the ideas in this podcast, we’re telling you to understand sex and dating and relationships and women through the lens of how humans evolved, through evolution, and evolutionary biology. That’s the sort of foundation, right? Nutrition is the same way. The idea is that we should eat the way that our bodies evolved to eat. Not eat the way cavemen eat, ‘cause we’ve not fucking cavemen. We can’t do shit cavemen did. That doesn’t make sense. But we can understand how our bodies are evolved, and our bodies are not evolved to eat grain and that means wheat, corn, rice, things like that. We are evolved to eat meat, animal fat, vegetables, nuts, some fruits in moderation, and that’s basically it.

Geoff:
Fish. Shellfish.

Tucker:
Fish. Of course, right. Any sort of animal flesh, for the most part. Yeah. Fish, chicken. When I say meat, I mean fucking animals. To me, fish are the same. Shellfish, etc. Although, obviously some people consider that different. Eggs, whatever. Now, obviously there are entire people who devote their lives to understanding this stuff, so in one podcast, we’re not going to explain everything about diet and nutrition. We’ll have this on the page for this specific podcast. All the links to everywhere. We have tons of great resources you can look at and read. But if you do two things, two things, you will start losing weight immediately. Stop eating refined sugar. Stop eating wheat or any sort of grain. If you cut those two things.

Geoff:
And by eating refined sugar, we especially mean drinking refined sugar.

Tucker:
Right. So, let’s give people examples.

Geoff:
If you do nothing more than just stop drinking soda and stop drinking fruit juice. Those are just liquid sugar. A lot of American guys drink way too much of it. Even diet soda…It’s weird. Nobody knows why, but drinking a lot of diet soda actually predicts obesity more than drinking regular soda. So, just cut out all sugary drinks. This also includes the Starbucks milkshakes that pretend to be coffee drinks.

Tucker:
You get 400 calories of sugar! It’s amazing!

Geoff:
It’s like, “It’s only 70 grams of sugar.” Right.

Tucker:
They’re the worst. They’re terrible. Here’s a good rubric. Don’t drink any calories.

Geoff:
Yeah. Just drink water.

Tucker:
Water, sparkling water, tea, coffee, anything like that is fine. Coffee basically has no calories. One or two calories is fine. But any sort of juice, no. Any sort of soda, no. Any sort of…anything like that. The first question, obviously, is alcohol. Look, I like drinking. If you don’t want to cut alcohol, I get it, but beer turns you into a bitch. I mean this literally. Like, what’s the impact of beer on the body?

Geoff:
Well, it’s made of grain.

Tucker:
Right. Beer especially, because it’s hops is extraordinarily estrogenic.

Geoff:
Oh. Tell me more, Tucker, ‘cause this I do not know.

Tucker:
Alright. Now we’re in my field! Yeah, beer is pretty much the worst alcohol. I love beer. Beer’s delicious. Make no mistake. I’m not criticizing beer.

Geoff:
You hope they serve beer in hell, still?

Tucker:
That’s the fucking name of my book! I love beer. But I’ve pretty much stopped drinking beer – once a month, I’m not a crazy person. But beer is made of grain, especially hops, which is extraordinarily estrogenic. Basically, hops are what’s called xenoestrogen and it triggers an estrogenic hormonal response in your body, which is why guys who drink tons of beer get bitch-tits. They get gynecomastia, literally. It’s super bad for you. If you’re going to drink, red wine is the best. Now, if you have money, you can get really delicious red wine. If you’re poor, you got to drink awful shit out of a box. So, I get why poor people don’t want to drink wine. It makes sense. Also, if you’re a dude, drinking red wine – especially if you’re young – all the time, it’s kind of weird. I don’t blame you if you don’t want to do that. Champagne is probably next. Or, actually, white wine is next. White wine, then after white wine is champagne. Again, if you don’t have money, you can only afford cheap shit, it’s not very good. You kind of have to spend about…usually, you’ve got to start at about $20 a bottle before you’re starting to get stuff that’s decent. A lot of young people, that’s probably too much. I get it. No problem. Drink hard liquor. Vodka, tequila. Those are the best. Specifically Deep Eddy Vodka, because I own that company, or I’m an owner in the company. They’re not even paying me for this, but in all seriousness, pretty much any vodka is fine. Tequila, the same, as long as it’s 100% blue agave, like, real tequila and not, you know, mezcal with a little bit of tequila in it or grain alcohol with tequila in it. Either of those are fine. The problem, though, is don’t be like, “Oh, I’m drinking vodka so it’s fine,” and you dump six pounds of sugar in your punchbowl. Then, you might as well be drinking Coke or something. It’s awful.

Geoff:
And we’re talking about, like, tonic water, which is more sugary than most…

Tucker:
Tons of sugar!

Geoff:
Or margarita mix with your tequila, which is sweeter than, like, Mountain Dew.

Tucker:
By the way, the drink of professionals is vodka and club soda with lemon. If you are a man and you want to be a pro, that’s what you drink. It’s very simple. If you really like Margaritas, an actual Margarita is tequila, lime juice, and maybe some cuintreau, triple sec. A little bit, right? Which is a little bit sugary but if you just put a little bit in, it’s fine. Really, it’s just tequila, lime juice, and orange juice. That’s NorCal Margarita, that’s Robb Wolf’s sort of thing. It’s got a little bit of sugar, a teeny bit, but it’s super good for you. Lime, especially, is basically no sugar. A little bit of orange for flavor. Get drunk, have fun, but it’s not going to spike your blood sugar. Now, we can’t cover this more without going real in depth into it. All the stuff is on The Mating Grounds page for this podcast. Link to it. If you just want one takeaway, I would actually recommend Tim Ferriss’s Slow-Carb Diet. It’s basically paleo for beginners, and it’s very simple. There’s five rules. Don’t eat white carbs, don’t drink calories, things like that. It’s very simple. Anyone can do it. It works. It works incredibly well, and it’s designed to be super easy for people and to require no big life changes.

Geoff:
And guys, the first two weeks are the hardest. If you regularly drink soda and eat pizza and pasta and a lot of carbs, then you will miss them for the first few days.

Tucker:
‘Cause your body’s literally addicted.

Geoff:
Yeah. Your body’s literally addicted to the sugar high. It’s almost like detoxing from heroin. But if you get through those first two weeks, your body will stop craving that stuff. In fact, and this is my experience, once I cut out a lot of the carbs and the soda and the fruit juice, the thought of eating that is kind of physically disgusting to me.

Tucker:
Especially when you go back to it. You haven’t had it for a month and then you go back. You’re like, first off, it’s incredibly sweet. If you haven’t had ice cream for a month, and then you go back to Coldstone or wherever you went when you were a fatty, you’re like, “Oh, my god, this is sweet! It’s unbelievable.” And then you get sick. You get physically sick when you eat it.

Geoff:
So, if you just stick with it the first couple weeks and you get through that and kind of…think of it as rehab. You can do it at home, but it’s a serious…unaddicting yourself. But once you get through that early phase, it’s so much easier, and then you’re almost home free. It becomes a self-sustaining kind of virtuous cycle.

Tucker:
Especially ‘cause you’re going to start seeing weight fall off. You’re going to start to feel better. You’re going to be like, “Oh, my god.” You’re going to start to think better. You’re going to feel amazing.

Geoff:
Your libido will get stronger.

Tucker:
You’ll start jacking off way more in a day or having more sex, whatever.

Geoff:
You’ll feel like more of a man.

Tucker:
You’ll feel amazing. So, at some point, we’ll develop the 21-day plan or whatever. We’ll probably link to Mark Sisson’s at the beginning, because his is really good. Robb Wolf also has a 30-day plan where it’s, like, it’s just diet and exercise and it tells you exactly what to do. If you can commit to three or four weeks – I’ll link to both of them. If you can commit to three or four weeks, then you will see amazing changes, and from there, it’s simple. If you don’t like it, it doesn’t work. Whatever, man. I mean, at the end of the day, it’s what works for you. Not what you have to do or something. There’s one more thing to talk about in this podcast, and this is super fucking important and everyone ignores it or bypasses it or thinks they’re doing good and it’s…it might be more important than the first two things, but we always leave it till last, because no one…it’s the thing that you have to ease into. Sleep. So, this podcast is about being healthy and looking healthy and having all the encruciaments of health. Sexual health, vigor, clear thinking, all that sort of stuff, clear skin, good eyes, which are super attractive and super important. Sleep is possibly the most important of exercise, diet, sleep, those three things. Sleep might be the most important. The vast majority of Americans get way less sleep than they should. Anywhere from an hour to two hours less sleep a night than they should be getting, and not sleeping makes you fatter. It makes you more depressed. Sadder. It impairs your memory. It impairs your cognitive abilities. It makes you look worse. It makes your skin look worse. It makes you less sexually virile. I could go down the list. There’s probably twenty more things you could list.

Geoff:
More likely to die in a car wreck. Stuff like that.

Tucker:
Seriously. Legitimately. No joke! Yeah! I mean, tons of studies. Most accidents are caused by sleep deprived people, etc. Right? I can’t emphasize this enough. It’s crazy. I didn’t even realize this. About a year and a half ago, I live in this nice, big apartment high up and it’s got all these windows and whatever. Great views, right? So, my bedroom is really nice. Corner, it’s got all these amazing views. The problem is, there’s a lot of fucking light and it’s really hard to sleep with a lot of light. So, I moved into this place, and literally, I was going out of my mind because my old place was dark enough. I was sleeping eight hours a night. I was going from eight hours to seven or six hours a night. It was really bad for six months. I put on weight, I got grumpy, unhealthy. It wasn’t this major, immediate change, but slowly and surely, people were like, “Are you okay? What’s wrong with you?” Like, people who know me. It’s like, “No, nothing’s wrong. What do you mean?” So, I finally…you’re going to laugh at this. I moved my bed into my closet. I have a pretty big walk-in closet, and I’m a dude, so there’s fucking nothing in there. I had my freezer where I kept all my meat from, like, hunting wild boars or whatever. Or the butter I buy at Costco and shit. My dog food. My dog, by the way, eats paleo. She eats raw meat. Anyway, so I moved the freezer out and I put my bed in there. Amazing. I put an air conditioner in there, like a little room air conditioner, and then the bed, and essentially, you close the door and it’s pitch-ass black in there. Literally, you cannot see your hand in front of your face. There’s no light. The AC keeps it about 65, 70 degrees, and it has this little low hum, so it’s white noise. The first night I slept in there, I slept, like, twelve hours. I woke up the next day and I walked out and it was so bright. I was like, “Jesus, it’s pretty bright for 8 in the morning.” Oh, it was noon. I think I slept more than twelve hours the first night. It was amazing. It’s funny, I met my girlfriend, the girl that I’m dating now, and she’s like, “You sleep in a closet. That’s fucking weird. What the fuck is going on?” And I’m like, “No, no. Trust me.” And so, the first night, she slept. She was like, boom. Out. She normally slept, like six, seven hours a night, and now she and I both sleep eight to nine hours a night, and it’s…you can look at pictures of us from two years ago versus now, and we look younger. It’s fucking nuts. Who gets younger as they get older? Although I’ll tell you, both. You want some evidence of this. Go look at the picture of me on the cover of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and then go look at the cover of Hilarity Ensues. Just put the two books next to each other on your computer. I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, that picture was taken in the summer of 2001, I’m pretty sure. I was 25. Hilarity Ensues was taken the summer of 2011, ‘cause the book came out in 2012. I was 35, 36 maybe. Ten years. I look younger, better, healthier, happier in the second picture. That’s fucking nuts, dude. It’s nuts. I remember looking at those and being shocked. ‘Cause I started eating really, fully paleo about 2008, which means, like we’ve talked about, no grain, no sugar, meats, fats, whatever. It blew my mind. At that point, I’d been doing it four, five, six years, and it blew my mind, the difference. I’m 38, and most people think I’m 28, 30. And it’s not because I’m fucking putting shit on my skin. I don’t have Nivea, I don’t do any of that shit, man. I don’t give a fuck. I’m going to get laid either way. It’s nuts. It changed my appearance for the better.

Geoff:
And this stuff is so easy. Creating a bedroom that is pitch black. You just shut off your monitors, get rid of your night light from when you were five years old, get rid of all the extraneous electronics, get some decent curtains, and get a regular sleep schedule. If you’re doing shift work, that is absolutely toxic.

Tucker:
It kills you.

Geoff:
I’ve got relatives who have irregular work schedules, and they’re all depressed.

Tucker:
It kills you and makes you crazy, literally.

Geoff:
They act like…it makes you crazy and stupid and depressed. This is something most guys pay zero attention to. So, here again, it’s really easy to do better than 90% of guys in terms of your sleep health, and it’s absolutely foundational for your body and your brain function.

Tucker:
If some guy came to me and he’s like, “I’m going to do one of the three things. What is it going to be?” It wouldn’t be exercise. It would be a long debate in my head whether it was eat right or sleep right. I’m not really sure where it would break down. It would be one of those two things. It’s fucking free. It’s so easy. Who doesn’t want to sleep more? You know? I don’t meet people who are like, “Man. I sleep too much. I’m really pissed off.” You can’t OD on sleep. When your body’s done, you will wake up. Here’s the thing. Geoff’s not telling you to stop using your computer at night. We’re not trying to be fucking weirdoes, Luddites living in the fucking woods with no electricity. Just…if you have to wake up at 8 AM for work. Like, you have to wake up at 8 and have to be there at 9, go to bed by midnight. Before midnight, get in your bed in a dark room and sleep. If you can’t sleep. Generally speaking, what if I can’t sleep? There are a small number of people who have real neurological sleep disorders. You know who you are. Everyone else, it is an issue of either generalized anxiety. So, if you lay down and your mind’s racing, that’s anxiety. If your mind’s not racing and you’re just having problems sleeping, probably you’re not working out enough and you’re not eating right. If you do any improvements in the other two areas, it will drastically help your sleep, which makes everything better. It’s this crazy feedback loop, where you start doing the right things and all of a sudden, everything about your life gets better.

Geoff:
Yeah. It’s like a little tripod. Food, exercise, sleep. If you just make a little bit of improvement in each area, it reinforces both of the other ones.

Tucker:
Right. Exactly. Alright, cool. Let’s cut this off now. All the sort of extended information, ‘cause we’ve covered a lot of deep topics obliquely. All of the extended information is going to be on the site, TheMatingGrounds.com, for this podcast. This is the Physical Health podcast. It’ll all be on there. You can dive deep into any of these things if you want.

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