16th of August 2014

Check This Out #18: Predictors of cheating, self-deception and what it’s like to be a hot girl


10 things that can predict whether your spouse will cheat on you
Really good collection of the best current evidence about cheating. Be careful not to mistake probability with actual actions, though.

What is it like to be a hot girl?
I have never been a hot girl, but I have dated and slept with a lot, and quite a bit of the this reddit thread rings true to me. They live in a different world than the rest of us, and the more you understand that–and women in general–the better off you will be in all your relationships.



Deceiving yourself to better deceive high-status compared to equal-status others
We have talked a lot about signaling and status, but not as much about deception yet, especially self-deception. Understanding that our brains as designed to fool ourselves is a key part of understanding ourselves and other people. Not surprisingly, we tend to deceive high status people more than equal status, and we do this by FOOLING OURSELVES.



The Masturbation Talk
Dr. Miller thinks this is a great masturbation talk. We obviously differ on some things.



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And finally…

Mating Grounds fan Christopher summarizes exactly what we’re trying to accomplish with the site, the podcast and the book.

First of all I know you’re busy so thanks ahead for taking the time to read these.

I just wanted to say that as a guy who once thought that the PUA community had all the answers I couldn’t agree more with the points you made. I actually stayed on the treadmill way longer just listening to the discussion. In my opinion it’s a lot like Mens Health. They have a great cover but for the most part just sell the same repackaged BS while feeding off major vulnerabilities.

Secondly, I make a living off bartending and serving at arguably the busiest bar in Anchorage and I have to say, in my opinion, clubs are a horrible place to meet girls. Guys talk to me all the time like I should be sleeping with every girl I want but I genuinely have no interest in that. I’m not saying that guys who are after short term sex with bar girls are bad people. It’s just not my thing. I’ve always wanted great sex with someone I genuinely know how to please rather than really short term things but that’s me. I also appreciate that you encourage men to be who they are and own it. I make sure girls know that I fucking love Metal Gear Solid and reading Batman comics. I’m not timid or apologetic about it either because I also have a life, I work out, etc. I mean, I’m dating the girl of my dreams who I actually would marry hands down (apparently we shared these plans at our friends Cambodian wedding on Sunday). I’m talking about a girl who is 11 years younger than me, black, she has done fitness modeling, smart, strong family ties. Basically, everything. She hates video games. Hates. Yet while doing her make up the other morning she moved the mirror to see the tv better because she wanted to see what happened next. I’m not writing any of this to brag, though she is brag worthy. I’m writing this because I am in most ways that guys in their 20s think are a big deal, I am pretty fucking average. I’m not rich, tall and I don’t even have a car.

So please encourage men to keep working on themselves while being interested in what they like. You are a COD guy, I’m a MGS guy. It’s cliche, but confidence is key.

The last point I want to make is that I genuinely appreciate the sincerity with which you and Miller are trying to make men not just better with women but genuinely better people. While I started on this through Strauss and The Game, it took me places I never would have expected, such as reading Miller and Buss, among others. But the results are not limited to my relationships with women. The knowledge made me a better salesperson, better in job interviews. I’m a better conversationalist. I have more confidence as a server and bartender which has literally translated to a better income and quality of life.

– Christopher

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