Why This Is Bad Advice
The human brain is not designed for radical honesty. Throughout the day you get a lot of random ideas and images that flash into your brain that come from weird places. Blurting all those out every time can hurt or confuse people and makes you look like a social retard. Pushing your honesty onto other people who are not directly asking for it signals a lack of social intelligence, which makes you less likable and less attractive to women.
For example, if a woman asks, “What are you looking for?” and you blurt out, “I just want to have sex and not date you,” it’s an immediate turnoff for her.
Women look for physical safety, social safety, and emotional safety before dating or sleeping with you. If you are radically honest, she worries that you will tell her friends that you two are just having sex. She will not feel socially safe with you because unfortunately we have a sex shaming culture in America where she suffers much more damage to her reputation by just having sex than you do.
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The Better Advice
If you are going to tell people the truth, you’d better make them laugh; otherwise they’ll kill you. – George Bernard Shaw
You should always tell the truth, but there are times when it’s better to say nothing or say it indirectly than to be 100% honest. There is nothing wrong in withholding your thoughts or information from people who you don’t know that well or aren’t good friends with.
From our example above, a more socially intelligent way to be honest in a short-term mating situation (when you just want sex) is responding indirectly to signal or code that you are looking to hookup (don’t say these exactly, use your own version):
- “Well, I’m not looking for a girlfriend right now. I’m looking to just meet new people and explore stuff.”
- Or, “I’m not looking to settle down yet. Right now, I like having fun and meeting new people.”
Most guys tell women they are looking for a girlfriend when they are not. So when you say something similar to the above at a bar, it’s a big, bright signal that you are looking for sex and nothing more. And that honesty is attractive.
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